How Dads Can Prepare to Discuss Pornography with Their Daughters

How Dads Can Prepare to Discuss Pornography with Their Daughters

By Balint Horvath

Photo by Caroline Hernandez on Unsplash

When you think of your daughter, you might think of the old Mother Goose nursery rhyme. “What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and all things nice.” As a father, the last thing on your mind is that one day you’ll have to talk to your daughter about pornography. 

Today’s article discusses a very sensitive subject, but as a father raising a precious little girl in a very different world, I feel it’s necessary to give this topic its due diligence.  Let’s look at why it’s important to have these discussions and how exactly we should go about them. 

Why Is it Important to Speak to Your Daughter About Pornography?

Children today are becoming exposed to the internet at much younger ages. With the many devices and constant exposure to screen time, it’s only a matter of time before your daughter is exposed to something unsavory on the internet. 

Not only is nothing private or sacred anymore, but our culture has become increasingly hypersexualized. Social media, internet chat rooms, and social applications are only a few examples of where your daughter could be exposed to pornography. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Perhaps if you ban the internet in your home you can minimize the risk. However, that train of thought will do more harm than good. Remember that almost every child has a smartphone and an internet connection these days. 

There’s a very powerful quote by Doug Flanders that reads, “No parent can child-proof the world. A parent’s job is to world-proof the child.” It reminds me of the countless hours I spent baby-proofing cabinets and drawers when my daughter was a baby. While I wish I could run out into the world and remove all the bad things from her path, I know that I can’t. But I can do the next best thing, which is to prepare her to deal with those bad things. 

Create a Foundation of Trust with Your Daughter

The first step in discussing pornography with your daughter is by creating a foundation of trust. Healthy teamwork in sports requires trust, just like in the case of a family. This process begins as early as the toddler days. Engage in conversations with your little one about topics that include their bodies, which areas are considered private and why, what consent is, and general health and well-being. 

You aren’t going to be too graphic with your three-year-old, but this is when and how you’ll want to start the conversation. As your daughter grows up, the conversation will continue to grow based on what you’ve already taught her. As she grows older she won’t be as hesitant to ask questions because she feels comfortable discussing such topics with you. 

Let Your Daughter Ask Questions!

Encourage your daughter to ask questions about pornography and related topics. Remember that this topic should be in the form of a conversation between you and your daughter with two-way dialogue back and forth. There should always be room for questions, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable they might make you feel. Approach it as part of a general discussion about women’s bodies, necessary boundaries, healthy relationships with herself and others, and what a healthy body image is. Ideally, you and your partner should both have these types of conversations with your daughter on an ongoing basis.

If there are any questions she asks that you don’t have the answers to, table the question for a later time and do research into the topic to help her learn safely and accurately. It’s important to find the relevant answer and provide her feedback, all the while making her feel her questions matter to you. This builds on the trust relationship that you need to build with her.

Keep Your Tone Approachable and Casual

Avoid having a stern or overly anxious tone when discussing pornography or any other sex-related topic. A stern tone might make her feel uncomfortable or as if she has asked something wrong. These sorts of interactions will scare her and will shut off any future opportunity for such a conversation between you. 

Discuss the Importance of Consent

From an early age, it’s important to teach your daughter about boundaries and personal space. It’s important to establish that no always means no. Regardless of the situation, no should always mean no. This should apply not only to her own personal boundaries, but when she associates with others as well.

Mistakes to Avoi

Since pornography isn’t on the list of top topics we want to discuss with our daughters, we might often try and avoid the conversation altogether. Or at the very least, postpone it as long as we can. This is the opposite of what you want to do.

I’ve listed a few of the more common mistakes parents should avoid when talking to daughters about pornography:

  • Not Talking About Pornography At All: Ask yourself the following question: Do you want your daughter receiving accurate, concise information from you or from strangers, other kids, or the internet? Engaging in the conversation will help you control the type of information she receives. Don’t avoid the topic! 
  • Not Preparing Before Discussing Pornography with Your Daughter: Discussing such a sensitive and controversial topic shouldn’t be done from one minute to the next. Firstly, you and your partner need to discuss what you define as acceptable and what you find offensive. You need to establish common ground. Both parents need to have the same answers and standpoints. Having different opinions on the subject will be confusing. Research your approach and practice the way you would answer certain questions so that you aren’t caught off guard. 
  • Not Listening to Your Daughter’s Thoughts About Pornography: As I’ve mentioned before, encourage questions. It’s important to specify that no topic is off-limits. Make a point of finding the answers to questions you might not have the answers to. It’s okay for you to not know everything!
  • Not Monitoring Internet Use: Monitor your daughter’s internet usage. There are a lot of questionable topics and websites that are only a click away. Monitor social media accounts, chats and the use of applications. Ensure they are age-appropriate. 
  • Not Discussing What Healthy Relationships Are with Your Daughter: You need to constantly have conversations with your daughter about body image, body shaming, and the aspects of healthy relationships between people. Discuss what is acceptable and what isn’t. Help her establish her own self-worth. 

Final Thoughts 

When you discuss pornography with your daughter, approach the topic as you would any other topic. Allow for questions and answer as scientifically and accurately as possible. There’s no need to sugarcoat the topic. Always remember that your information could safeguard your daughter as she gets older. 

Every time you feel like you want to avoid the topic, remind yourself that if you don’t discuss it with her, a stranger might. Approach the subject as part of a much broader topic. Start a conversation about body image, boundaries, and healthy relationships. Once you start the conversation it’ll become easier to build on it. Empower your daughter and “world-proof” her against the world!

For more information on communicating successfully with your child on a number of difficult topics, check out How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography and  Conversations with My Kids: 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age. Available on Amazon.

Balint Horvath is the founder of Projectfather. He’s a first-time father and when his daughter doesn’t occupy him, he is a productivity coach. He started the site to share his lessons learned, research he has made along his journey. His Mission Is to help Dads in A-Z of Fatherhood.

Simple Ways to Protect Your Child from Common Abuse in the Digital Age

Simple Ways to Protect Your Child from Common Abuse in the Digital Age

35-year-old math teacher Brian Robeson initially began meeting privately with 14-year-old student Anna under the guise of mentorship. Soon after, he hosted private lunches with Anna in his classroom during school. Then he kissed her on her forehead during a school field trip. Finally he turned to email, using the platform to keep in contact with Anna 24/7. Her parents had no idea (Dejka, 2019).

The rise of the internet, smartphones and tablets, and hundreds of apps have created a dangerous situation for the children using these platforms. Without the direct supervision of a parent, children can find themselves interacting online with people they don’t know or worse, people like Brian Robeson who are looking to take advantage of the ease of online communication platforms. It’s critical for parents to understand that it is usually NOT a stranger in the shadows talking with their child online; most often, it is an adult they interact with in their daily life looking for an easy way to isolate and manipulate their victim. 

According to Darkness to Light, nearly 90% of child abuse victims know their abuser. This staggering statistic forces parents to rethink who exactly is the greatest risk to their child online. And while apps like Kik and Whisper can connect children with thousands of strangers, it is also a possibility that an abuser who already knows the child will use online portals to have direct contact with their victim. This direct and unsupervised contact also enables institutional abusers to take advantage of public trust, like the churches and schools that employ them, while still creating abusive relationships with children online. By moving the manipulation online, abusers are able to maintain trust with the victim’s family and other adults in their life by seemingly behaving appropriately in the real world. 

This reality can seem overwhelming, but there are ways parents can be active abuse prevention partners in their child’s internet experience. The best defense is keeping your kids off smartphones and social media until they are in their last one to two years of high school. Yes, all your friends are giving their kids smartphones sooner, but we have yet to hear of ANY parent who is glad they gave their child a smartphone or access to social media when they did. EVERY parent we have ever talked to, all over the country wishes they had waited!

But if you are not able to do this, you must gain a thorough understanding of the internet and it’s specific codes and acronyms. This can help parents quickly identify potentially dangerous individuals communicating with their children. Once you have an understanding of what the online world looks like for your child, it’s incredibly important to establish an open dialogue concerning internet safety. Honest and specific conversations about who your child is allowed to contact, what kind of communication they’re allowed to have, and what to do if your child comes across something like nudity or other explicit content online, is the foundation of a healthy online experience. 

In addition to educating yourself and creating an honest dialogue, the following are simple steps parents can take to respectfully monitor their child’s online presence

  • Place the computer or gaming system in a common area where their use can be easily monitored
  • Use monitoring apps like Circle Go to see where and how much time your child is spending on social media apps, certain games, and other online activities
  • Spend time with your child online and see who they really are online
  • Talk to your kids often about online dangers 
  • Listen carefully and respectfully to what your child says about their online habits—even if they seem unimportant—so your child will feel comfortable bringing up potentially serious issues with you 

The internet age and all of its offshoots can often make parents feel like they are fighting a losing battle. However, the risks of letting your child have free reign over their online world requires active, informed parent involvement. This involvement doesn’t have to be a chore as finding fun, interactive things to do online is totally possible for both parents and children. Plus, any excuse to develop a foundation of honest communication between you and your child is a positive experience and building block of a successful parent/child relationship. 

For more information on communicating successfully with your child, check out Conversations with My Kids: 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age on Amazon. If you are looking for information about taking with your child about sexuality, check out 30 Days of Sex Talks, Empowering Your Child with Knowledge of Sexual Intimacy (available for 3 age groups: 3-7, 8-11, and 12+).  


(2020, February 06). Child sexual abuse statistics. Darkness to Light: End Child Sexual Abuse.

Dejka, J., Nitcher, E. (2019, December 18). Emails, hugs, promises: Teen victim describes how OPS teacher groomed her for sexual abuse. Omaha World-Herald.

The Most Dangerous Apps of 2021

The Most Dangerous Apps of 2021

By K. Parker and Melody Bergman

As parents in the digital age, keeping our kids safe on technology is just part of the job description. But with so many screens, games, apps, and devices right at their fingertips, how is an exhausted parent supposed to keep up?! We’ve got you covered! 

Each year, we compile a list of the most dangerous apps that families need to watch out for. Here are a few of those posts: 

13 Apps Every Parent Should Know in 2020

The Most Dangerous Apps of 2019

The Most Dangerous Apps of 2018

This year, we are focusing on just a few apps—but they are by far the most dangerous apps for children and teens! They are prime locations for bullying, sexually predatory behavior, sexting, and grooming. They are the popular social media apps we use every day.


Are you surprised? Not what you expected? It’s a little discomforting knowing that the greatest dangers to our children are found in common apps like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and others, where both kids and adults are spending so much time. Many of us don’t even realize how entrenched our lives are in these platforms. Especially during these years of pandemic with so much of our lives being moved online, social media has become a bigger part of our lives than it has ever been in the past. 

Much to our chagrin, social distancing has resulted in our kids being glued to their screens through social media, gaming, and entertainment of all sorts. As parents, we need to know what kind of an effect this is having on our children. Is it dangerous? Is it damaging? These are things we want to know!

The answer is: Yes! Spending so much time on technology CAN increase the likelihood that our kids will be exposed to danger. Many of these dangers are external dangers—threats that target children purposefully. But there are also internal dangers, like those they may encounter through social media exposure. Many of these internal dangers are based on the hyper-fixation that sucks in our children in the first place, gluing them to their screens. People of all ages struggle with this, not just children.But when it comes to media addiction, it’s better to be aware earlier rather than later. Then we’re better equipped to fight against it. 


As an example of how dangerous these internal dangers can be, I will briefly share an experience I went through when I was younger. I made friends with a girl online through shared interest in a television show. She was merely sixteen years old, and she was so deep into her hyper-fixation on her media image and presence that when she didn’t receive the attention she’d been expecting, she became depressed to the point of wanting to take her own life. When she came to me with her struggles, my advice to her was to delete her Twitter account, get off her Discord servers, stop looking at social media apps, and talk to her parents and other people who were physically present in her life. She felt so alone because she felt the people on the internet didn’t care about her, and she didn’t believe she could find that same joy and care from her own personal life. 

For kids in this generation, it can be tempting to let their digital reality become their whole world. This can be very dangerous. When their entire focus begins revolving around the attention, feedback, and popularity gained through a media following, it tends to erase the importance of reality and their own personal life and connections. As parents, it is crucial that we stay connected with our children and that we are able to recognize the signs if they are losing touch and disconnecting from reality. We ALL need to keep a healthy balance between digital interactions and true human connections. Not just kids—parents too! .


When our children don’t know what’s out there, and how dangerous it can be, the risk is so much greater. Family rules and filters are a good start, but they aren’t enough on their own. We also need clear communication about the dangers out there, and how damaging they can be. 

Our book Conversations with My Kids: 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age is a great tool to help. When we have open conversations and our kids understand the reasons behind the rules, we have much safer families. Children and teens prepared to see warning signs and stay away from them of their own accord are so much safer than curious children pushing against the rules because they want to know what’s out there. Here are some guidelines to help get you talking:

  • Start early to create close bonds with your kids, both teaching and learning how to communicate openly. (If you have older kids, don’t worry. You haven’t missed your window. Just start now!)
  • Set boundaries and explain the reasons for those boundaries.
  • Explain the importance having a firm grasp of their reality has on their mental health, Help them understand that what they see and how they are viewed by others online isn’t everything. 
  • Talk about bullying and what to do if your child comes across it, whether your child is the victim or the perpetrator, or if your child witnesses someone else being bullied.
  • Have a frank discussion about grooming and sexual predators with your children. Teach them the warning signs, and tell them to inform you if they are being contacted in an inappropriate way.

Keeping our kids safe and happy in a digital world is no easy task. But with a little vigilance and open communication, we can handle it! In the end, our efforts will help immeasurably in the mental and physical wellbeing of our children. 

K. Parker is an editor and writer for Educate and Empower Kids, and is currently studying at Brigham Young University – Idaho to graduate with a Bachelor’s degree in English. She is working towards a career in copyediting.

Melody Bergman is a mother and step-mom of three boys, Marketing Director at HPi Certified Training Academy, co-creator of the Media Savvy Moms Podcast by Parents Aware, and former coalition coordinator for the National Center on Sexual Exploitation. She has a bachelor’s degree in communications and 20 years in the field as a writer and editor. In her spare time, she teaches martial arts and self-defense at Defend Yourself Virginia. Her mission is to motivate leaders and community members to educate and protect kids. Follow Melody’s adventures on her blog at Mama Crossroads.

Kid-Friendly Alternatives to Smartphones: Taking the Smart out of Smartphones

Kid-Friendly Alternatives to Smartphones: Taking the Smart out of Smartphones

By: Fiona Leikness

As parents, one of our biggest concerns is knowing where our kids are at any given time. We want to make sure they’re safe, and that we can reach them in case of emergency! We may think the solution lies in giving our child a phone, but then we’re left grappling with the idea of direct access to the internet and social media. How do we protect them from the dangers of online predators, exposure to graphic content, and pornography?

Thankfully, the solution is very simple. A few companies have heard the outcry from parents regarding screen-addiction, social media, pornography, and access to the internet, and have taken on the challenge of providing affordable, minimalistic alternatives to smartphones.

Think Smarter, Not Harder

Some of the biggest concerns over giving children their first phones revolve around games, social media, and access to the internet. Parents aren’t immune to the addictive qualities of smartphones either. How often have we found ourselves glued to a game or scrolling through our news feeds for hours? We hear that notification ding and immediately we want to check it! But we’re also aware of the salacious content that can and does lurk within social media and the internet. So what do we do? Here are a few ideas:

Gabb Wireless

Gabb Wireless offers a smartphone free of app stores, an internet browser, and social media. However, their phones still maintain that smartphone look so that your children don’t have to feel left out or “behind” amongst their peers.

  • Basic front/rear camera
  • GPS tracking
  • Bluetooth capable
  • Built-in music app
  • Radio functionality
  • Call/messaging capable
  • No web browser
  • No app store

The Light Phone

The Light Phone II takes smartphones back to the bare-bone basics. Light Phone caters to all crowds with the idea of helping users free themselves from the constant scrolling and usage that haunts most smartphone users. What’s unique about this phone is that it also advertises an E-Ink screen (made popular by e-readers like Kindle), eliminating problems that arise from blue light on standard smartphone screens.

  • Call/messaging capable
  • Alarms
  • E-Ink screen
  • No web browser
  • No app store
  • No camera
  • Does not support images
  • Optional calculator and podcast tools

Look Ma, No Hands!

Now, smartphone alternatives may seem handy and all, but what if your child is prone to losing items? Maybe you are reluctant to give your child a phone at all? Well, worry not! With smartwatch technology constantly improving, parents now have access to kid-friendly options for smartwatches that allow you to stay in touch and to know the location of your child at all times.


Currently my favorite option, Timex offers a variety of smartwatches for the whole family, including a child friendly version that’s perfect for even the youngest kids. Parents can even customize the watch’s functionality according to their desires.

  • GPS-tracking
  • Call/messaging capable (approved contacts only)
  • SOS alert button (alerts predesignated contact/s)
  • Durable
  • No internet access
  • Simple games (can be set or removed by parents)
  • Customizable task/reward option
  • Step tracker

Verizon Gizmo Watch

Verizon’s GizmoWatch is very similar to the Timex smartwatch when it comes to features, but would most likely be better suited to children 10 and up based on design. However, this watch does boast greater customization capabilities so that your child can really make this watch his/her own.

  • Long-life battery
  • GPS tracking
  • Call/messaging capable (approved contacts only)
  • Fitness counter
  • Can set scheduled reminders
  • Waterproof 
  • No internet access

Whether you decide to give your child a standard smartphone, a restricted phone, or a kid-friendly smartwatch, it is comforting to know that we, as parents, have so many options available to us when it comes to keeping our children safe. These smartphones and smartwatches allow us to offer our children a little more freedom in their lives while still protecting them from the dangers of the digital age.

For more information, be sure to check out Conversations with My Kids: 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age, available on Amazon! Still want more? Then be sure to read Noah’s New Phone: A Story About Using Technology for Good, also available on Amazon.

Fiona Leikness is an editor for Educate and Empower Kids and student at BYU-I. She is currently studying English with an emphasis on creative writing and editing.

“Is My Brain Really Getting Mushy?” Technology’s Influence on Our Kids

“Is My Brain Really Getting Mushy?” Technology’s Influence on Our Kids

By Toni Van Orman and Fiona Leikness

“Stop asking!” If you have children, I am sure this is something you have exclaimed over and over when they asked you one too many times why they couldn’t keep playing on the tablet, keep watching movies, or keep playing games. I am sure you can even picture the tantrums that happened when you told them their time was up. Well, if you have, you are not alone. One Australian survey that spoke with 1000 parents found that roughly 58% of parents reported having “seen their children have a tantrum of some degree when they insisted on limiting their use of technology.” If you have not experienced any of this behavior, count yourself as one of the lucky few. 

Tantrum-throwing and whining used to be a common, tiring occurrence in my home. At one point I decided I was done, and questioned if this battle was worth fighting. A parent can only take so much. Right? Honestly, the idea of giving into my children’s thirst for technology was tempting. It would be so easy. In fact, it didn’t take much to imagine the peace and quiet that I could soon be experiencing if I just gave in. However, I wasn’t quite ready to give up. I decided I needed to look at the data. I began by doing a little research. You wouldn’t believe what I found!  

Food for Thought

The overuse of technology is something that has become so prevalent in our current culture that even some of our kids are concerned that they are spending too much time on technology. With such ease of access to the internet through smartphones, laptops, and tablets, it would be hard to imagine how kids wouldn’t become dependent on technology. One study, conducted by David Smahel, Michelle F. Wright, and Martina Cernikova, took the time to interview a large pool of children from several countries. The goal of the study was to find out what negative effects the use of technology has on your average kid- not just kids deemed “addicted” to technology. Many of the kids interviewed reported eyestrain and headaches from even just one hour spent in front of a computer. Other kids reported feeling tired from spending similar amounts of time on the computer, which was noted to be possibly linked with a child’s performance in school.

This same study also noted that kids who encountered harmful, violent, and/or graphic content online reported having nightmares and difficulty sleeping as a result of these nightmares. Many of the kids mentioned how these images would stick in their minds long after they had clicked away from the image or video. I couldn’t help but wonder if my own kids had had similar experiences.

Going further, another study published in Journal of Youth and Adolescence found that engaging in online activities before and during bedtime could interfere with childrens’ and teens’ sleep quality and duration. It was also noted that this reduced quality of sleep could lead to negative emotional responses in children and teens. 

This data helped me decide that this battle with technology was absolutely worth fighting. With these studies to help me better understand that my concerns were warranted, I was more committed than ever to deal with the whining and tantrums. The message was clear.

Our Kids Need Help!

At this point, I decided it was time to get a little creative; I wanted to be able to share with my kids why I cared about limiting their technology use in a way that they could understand. I felt that it was important that they understood why I insisted on these boundaries with technology. My goal was to help educate them as much as it was to protect them.

After some contemplation, I came up with a solution that would not only help my children understand what it is that I learned from the studies, but would also act as a wonderful, ongoing reminder.

That week, I brought home a small tomato plant. With my kids gathered up, I set the plant down next to another empty pot full of soil. I showed them how all plants, like this tomato plant, benefitted from regular watering. I then watered the little tomato plant. I then pulled up the empty pot full of soil and explained that, even though water can be good for a plant, too much can make the plant sick. I then drowned the empty pot with water until the soil was drenched, mushy mud. 

“Our brains are the same way,” I explained. If we’re careful, we can use technology to help us learn and grow, but use too much, and we could end up doing more harm than good. From then on, we placed the little tomato plant in a place where we could watch it and care for it. Each time one of my kids would water the plant, they were reminded of how too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Now, whenever my children ask, “Mom, why can’t I have more time on the tablet?” I reply, “Because your brains are getting mushy!” Do they still complain? Absolutely. But the complaining and whining is much less than before. Just the other day, my youngest son brought me the tablet and said, “Mom, my brain needs a break. It is getting mushy.” 

Since then, I have found other ways to be proactive about my children’s technology use. Here are four ideas that have worked for my family: 

  1. Set family internet and technology guidelines together with your kids. By setting guidelines as a family, parents are able to teach kids about how they can navigate the internet safely. 
  2. Use parental controls to manage what your kids have access to and to set time limits on devices. Using the parental controls on your Wi-Fi router is a great way to manage all the devices in your home. 
  3. Stay informed about new technology, games, and apps. If you want to protect and educate your children, you have to be informed. Two of my favorite resources include Common Sense Media and Educate and Empower Kids
  4. Create a list of things your kids can do instead of spending time on technology. This has been a great reference for me when my kids tell me how bored they are.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of setting greater limitations on your kids’ tablets, phones, or computers, don’t give up hope. Get creative! Help your children understand why they should care just as much as you do about how technology can affect them. Take the time to educate your children in a way that they can understand, and continue to be proactive about protecting your children.  

For more information, be sure to check out Conversations with My Kids: 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age, available on Amazon! Still want more? Then be sure to read Noah’s New Phone: A Story About Using Technology for Good, also available on Amazon.

Toni Van Orman is a student at BYU-Idaho and will graduate with a degree in Marriage and Family Studies in December 2020.  She has been married to her husband, Jared, for over 15 years, and they have four children. As a military spouse living far from family, Toni has learned the important role that families play in the lives of all individuals. Toni is always looking for ways to help military families stay strong and connected. 

Fiona Leikness is an editor for Educate and Empower Kids and student at BYU-I. She is currently studying English with an emphasis on creative writing and editing.

Lesson: Uplifting Others Online and Everywhere

Lesson: Uplifting Others Online and Everywhere

Speech, media, and famous characters are frequently negative or critical of themselves and others. In this digital age, it’s all too easy to be rude, negative, and/or fake online. Unfortunately, this bleeds into our real-life interactions. It’s easy to be fake and to hide behind a facade, or to mimic the harsh interactions portrayed in media. We don’t always know what other people are going through; we should strive to make their lives easier rather than more difficult. We can do that through honest and sincere compliments.

The objectives of this lesson are:

  • Discuss why compliments and other sincere, positive speech, online and face-to-face, are important.
  • Discuss the differences between what media and pop culture say or do versus what actually makes people feel good about themselves.
  • Help your child understand that every text, email, post, or message can affect others in positive or negative ways.

Download the Lesson Here!

Our book 30 Days to A Stronger Child provides even more helpful information, lessons, and ideas to help your children develop into their best possible selves.

If you are looking for more information about digital citizenship and using tech for good check out our children’s books Noah’s New Phone: A Story About Using Technology for Good.

Lesson: Helping Your Child Become the Master of Their Body Moving Beyond Good Touch/Bad Touch

Lesson: Helping Your Child Become the Master of Their Body Moving Beyond Good Touch/Bad Touch

Before the digital age and body positive movements, teaching our children
the difference between “good touch” and “bad touch” seemed like it was all we needed to do to keep our children safe. Using the terms “good touch” and “bad touch” allowed parents to explain in a simple way the difference between wanted, unwanted, or inappropriate touch.

However, as we move further into body positivity movements and the digital age, teaching the difference between “good touch” and “bad touch” is no longer enough.


  • Help you as a parent understand the importance of your child feeling in control of their own body
  • Help your child start feeling like they are the masters of their body and what that means

Download The Lesson Here!

Looking for more help with discussing boundaries and body safety? Check out our books 30 Days of Sex Talks and Conversations with My Kids: 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age.

Cuatro maneras sencillas para hacer a un lado las redes sociales en esta temporada de vacaciones

Cuatro maneras sencillas para hacer a un lado las redes sociales en esta temporada de vacaciones

Por Haley Hawks

Muchos de mis primeros recuerdos se centran en caballos y mi padre. Recuerdo que desde una edad temprana, mi padre me llevaba con él a pasear por los bosques de altos pinos negros, llenos de arroyos y árboles caídos, en busca de esas últimas vacas escurridizas para guiarlas hacia arriba o abajo de la montaña. 

Él me enseñó que cuando montábamos en caballo era imprescindible prestar atención. Un día, mientras estábamos montando a lo largo de un camino trillado, un ciervo saltó de entre los árboles, y mi caballo asustado lanzó un salvaje giro a la izquierda. Se asentó después de unos cuantos saltos leves antes de que continuáramos en nuestro camino.  

¿Qué pasa si en ese instante, hubiera tenido mi teléfono celular fuera de mi bolsillo tratando de capturar el tordo gris de mi caballo contra las colinas verdes, en lugar de vivir en el momento? ¿Y si en vez de mí, prestando atención a mi teléfono celular, hubiera sido mi padre, mi esposo, o mi hija tratando de tomar la fotografía? Podría haber habido consecuencias desastrosas por no prestar atención. 

Nosotros, como padres, maestros y amigos podemos ayudar a nuestros hijos y nosotros mismos a estar más presente con estos sencillos pasos, especialmente durante esta temporada de vacaciones:

1. Anímate y a otros a poner el teléfono a un lado. 

Parece natural tener siempre nuestros teléfonos celulares en nuestras manos, pero cambiemos esto. Cuando no lo necesites, hay que guardarlo. Como padres sobre todo, tenemos que dar el ejemplo. 

Aquí hay algunas situaciones en que un teléfono celular no es necesario:

  • En la mesa, durante la cena
  • cuando estamos con amigos y familiares 
  • durante reuniones de negocios
  • en la escuela

           Es tentador estar en las redes sociales para pasar el tiempo o ponerse al día con los amigos. Pero el exceso de medios sociales nos hace perder el tiempo e impide las interacciones en la vida real. Estar presente en el momento nos permite tener conecciones que necesitamos para mejorar nuestras vidas. 

            Durante las vacaciones, cuando estemos rodeados de familia, es el momento perfecto para la practicar esto. ¡Permanezcamos presentes para poder compartir presentes!

2. Deja pasar la oportunidad para tomar fotos. 

Pregúntate, ¿es realmente necesario tomar esta foto? ¿Estaría en peligro si tuviera mi teléfono celular fuera en este momento? ¿Quiero tener esta foto para siempre?

Algunos momentos necesitan captura. Pero esos momentos puede ser sólo para nuestros ojos, no por el placer de un “me gusta”. Lo que publicamos en las redes sociales debe ser selectivo. Nuestros hijos deben ver que elegimos guardar recuerdos, no porque queremos la aceptación de otros, sino porque los atesoramos esos momentos.

3. Vive la vida, no en las redes sociales.

Hay tantas imágenes e interacciones increíbles que están sucediendo cada segundo justo delante de nosotros, y podríamos perdernos de estos si estamos atrapados en las sensaciones de los medios sociales. En lugar de perder el tiempo en nuestros teléfonos, pongamos nuestros teléfonos a un lado e interactuemos. Nuestros niños crecen tan rápido; no perdamos la oportunidad de conectar con ellos por estar en los medios sociales. Si estás teniendo problemas conectando con tus hijos, establece algunos límites: 

  • Desactivar notificaciones 
  • Sólo mirar a las redes sociales después del trabajo y cuando las actividades familiares se hayan terminado
  • Establece reglas  
  • Practicar un chequeo “flash” de las redes sociales 

4. Se intencional.

Si estás hablando con tu madre, habla con ella. Si estás montando un caballo, monta el caballo. Si vas a comer una deliciosa pasta, concéntrate en cada deliciosa cucharada. No esperes a verlo en las redes sociales, experimenta a primera mano por ti mismo. 

Pero si se va a publicar … muestra tu autenticidad. Para ello:

  • Comparte lo que representa tu verdadero yo
  • Comparte tus verdaderos pensamientos
  • Comparte tus verdaderos sentimientos y emociones 

Tu vida es absolutamente hermosa, sorprendente, liberadora, y encantadora. No es necesario usar filtros y Photoshop para lograr la perfección que el mundo demanda. Muestrale al mundo quién eres y qué cosas únicas traes a la mesa. 

Leo Christopher dijo: “Sólo hay una cosa más preciosa que nuestro tiempo y eso es con quién lo gastamos”. Con demasiada frecuencia, los medios sociales y las distracciones digitales roban nuestro tiempo y oportunidades para crear nuevas y alegres memorias con las personas que son importantes para nosotros. 

Cuando nos liberamos de las redes sociales, tomamos el control de la realidad. Somos libres para sentir el poder de la lluvia, sin tratar de aprovecharla en una imagen. Somos libres para disfrutar de acurrucos con nuestros hijos, sin tratar de encontrar la descripción perfecta. Si podemos encontrar tiempo para ser deliberado con los medios sociales durante este tiempo del año, tal vez también podemos aprender a estar sin el estorbo de la tecnología durante todo el año. 

¿Listo para hablar sobre temas difíciles? Mira nuestros recursos, Los medios sociales y los niños: la guía definitiva para mantener a los niños seguros en línea y Guía de medios de comunicación del hogar.

¿Listo para hablar sobre mas temas difíciles? Echa un vistazo a nuestras libros para ayudarte, 30 días de charlas sobre sexo y Cómo hablar con tus hijos sobre la pornografía.

Haley Hawks tiene una Licenciatura en Ciencias en Estudios del Matrimonio y la Familia de la Universidad Brigham Young-Idaho. Le apasiona el aprendizaje, especialmente cuando se trata de relaciones y la vida familiar. Ella espera algún día ser capaz de educar a nivel mundial en lo que respecta a la fomentación de la bondad en la familia, y la destrucción de los ideales que perjudican a la sociedad.