By Miriam Foulke
Kids are introduced to pornography, and specifically “soft porn,” far younger than we think they are. R-rated movies, social media, advertisements on TV, billboards, and mall storefronts expose children to soft porn every day.
Soft porn is less talked about, but is the just as dangerous cousin of hardcore pornography. Every parent needs to be aware not only of its presence, but also of the dangers it presents, and how to face them with your children.
What Is Soft Pornography?
Any portrayal of a sexual or erotic act that is implied rather than explicit is classified as soft pornography. Ads with scantily-clad women sensually displaying a product, video games, and anime with voluptuous women bouncing around unrealistically are just a few examples of the kind of soft pornography that we and our children are bombarded with daily.
This exposure can raise curiosity in young viewers, and they will often end up looking for more on the internet. This innocent curiosity can, as interest grows, cause an inability to form healthy romantic connections. Pornography portrays men and women alike as objects, as a tool to use to experience pleasure, and is more often than not violent towards women. This kind of viewpoint can make it difficult for the viewer to understand how to love and be loved. What can start innocently can lead to an obsessive addiction, which will affect every other aspect of a healthy mental image of themselves and the world around them.
How to Prepare Your Child
So what can you do? You can’t simply keep your child locked up in your house, with the blinds pulled and the electronics off, though it might be tempting.
1. Make sure your home is a safe space
Though it may seem obvious, it’s vitally important that your child knows that they can talk to you about anything they might misunderstand or find confusing. It is just as important that you ask them questions, too. What do they think about things that they see? Perhaps you saw a provocative billboard while you were out with your child running errands. How did it make them feel?
Let your child know that their voice and their feelings are important and heard. When your children know that they can come to you and talk about what they’ve seen you can intercept what may be their first exposure to pornography, instead of attempting to stop them as a last resort. Fear, embarrassment, guilt, and shame are a few of the feelings most kids go through when they witness porn. By making your home a safe space to talk and share these things in, you can help to remove those stumbling blocks.
2. Be Honest and Open about Pornography
Neither you nor your child can control the actions of others. This means that you can’t ensure that they never come into contact with soft pornography. It’s important that your child knows for themselves why pornography is dangerous, and how it can negatively impact their own mental health, and the health of their future romantic, professional, and platonic relationships.
Help your child realize they can always remove themselves from a situation where soft pornography is present. By turning off electronic devices or simply leaving the room, whether it be at home or a friend’s house, they can remove themselves from the influences of soft pornography. They will come to understand they can control their own lives, which can help them decide early how the soft porn they come into contact with will affect them.
For more in-depth suggestions and information, check out our book How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography, which is available on Amazon.
Miriam Foulke is a student at Brigham Young University-Idaho, pursuing an English degree with a minor in technical writing. She is passionate about the spread of knowledge to better the world for the present and the future.
