By Mattie Barron
As a millennial college student, we rely heavily on tech and the convenience it has to offer. Based on my observations during my time on a college campus, it is apparent that working hard is becoming a foreign concept for some of us. I am seeing more and more young adults who don’t want to grow up and take on life’s responsibilities. This culture of irresponsibility has been around for a while, but more individuals are starting to embrace it.
Are you raising an unmotivated, irresponsible child? Or are you raising a who aspires to achieve their full potential? Perhaps your child is somewhere in between. It doesn’t matter which question resonated with you; there is always room for empowering your child to be more independent!
Here are 3 simple strategies for raising strong, independent kids:
1. Help Your Kids Embrace Responsibility
Don’t hesitate to teach your child how to help with chores around the house. Teaching necessary life skills and allowing your children to apply what they’ve learned from you will benefit them greatly. Knowing and understanding what needs to be done to take care of a household will help ensure that when your child is ready to leave the household, they’ll be more prepared for the real world.
Idea List: Ways to Encourage Responsibility
- Assign a daily chore
- Vacuuming, dishes, laundry, etc. Ask them to run an errand for you
- Example for older children (teens and above): If you’re out of milk, ask them to go to the grocery store for some
- Educate them about money-smarts
- For older children who may be able to get a job, help them open a bank account and teach them about spending and saving money wisely
- For younger children, consider an allowance. This could come as a reward for chores done around the house
2. Have Regular Family Activities
Engaging in the outdoors and getting away from the comfort of home is a great way to . If you’re on a bike ride and a tire goes flat, take advantage of the how to handle such a situation. While playing a sport, if someone gets hurt, teach your children about first aid kits and how to treat certain injuries. Encourage them to help offer solutions to such situations. Teaching your children how to take charge of an otherwise undesirable situation will help them be more likely to take charge and know what to do when they are on their own.
Idea List:
- Go on a family bike ride
- Get involved in community service
- Weed a neighbor’s yard
- Walk dogs at the shelter
- Babysit for a family
- Go to a museum or a few local historical sights
- Prepare, pack, and share a picnic
- Go on a family day hike
3. Allow Your Kids Opportunities to Make Their Own Decisions
As often as possible, allow your kids to make choices for themselves. Allowing your child to make their own decisions will help them grow confidence in themselves. Encourage them to decide what they want to do, eat, or wear. It’s also important to emphasize standards and consequences and set appropriate rules in your home as you encourage your child to make their own decisions. As kids start to push the boundaries and go around the rules, make sure you follow through with the consequences you’ve set. Doing so will help your children understand their actions have consequences. As children begin to recognize the consequences of their behavior, they will begin to understand more of the impact they have on those around them.
Idea List: Ways to Allow Your Child to Make Their own Decisions
- Let your children decide which chores they will do
- Involve your child in meal-planning
- For younger children, give them options for what the meal could be one night and let them decide
- For older children, consider having them plan and prepare the meals for certain days of the week or month
Raising an independent child in an immature, irresponsible culture is not easy. Independence is a significant and beneficial trait for children to possess, the home is the ideal environment to learn what it means to be responsible. As they develop their independence now, they will better be prepared to tackle life’s responsibilities in the future.
Check out our book, , for more ideas on how to raise a resilient, independent child. It includes great discussions and activities on topics such as Accountability, Growth, Respect, and much more.
Or Check out Conversations with My Kids: 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age–-A simple, super-helpful guide that gives YOU the words to talk about tough, timely topics of today (like racism, integrity, agency, healthy sexuality, LGBTQI issues, social media, and more).
Mattie Barron is currently a Senior at Brigham Young University-Idaho pursuing a Bachelor of Science in Marriage and Family Studies. She is from Tri-cities, WA and has a passion to help create and ignite strong families. She hopes to work in the school system and aid in the support of children and families.
