Amanda Grossman-Scott
Every night in our family, we each name something we are grateful for on that day. It can sometimes be perfunctory, “I’m grateful for the yummy dinner” or “I’m grateful for my new shoes” but sometimes it’s really touching such as when my son said to me recently, “I’m so grateful you’re my Mom. There are lots of different Moms and I’m just glad I got YOU.” We’d had a rough day together and I was grateful to hear that from him and even more grateful that we take the time each night to check in with each other. Our gratitude practice each night takes all of 5 or 10 minutes– but it’s our way of connecting as a family right before bed time.
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” – Melody Beattie
Cultivating gratitude can literally change a person’s understanding and perspective. When we teach our children to see their lives through gratitude, we are giving them tools to find peace, joy, and emotional connection. (Webb, 2016)
In asking my kids what they’re grateful for each night, I’m hoping to send them off to bed with positive thoughts of all the great things in their lives, and hope for what is to come. But more importantly, it lets my kids know that I care about what is important to them, about the things that really matter and are weighing on their minds.
Some other great ways you can practice gratitude with your kids and connect at the same time:
- Teach your child to write a thank you note for either small or big acts of kindness in their lives.
- Ask your kids to think about who your family knows who might be in need of kindness and gratitude, and what they might enjoy.
- Use simple please and thank you expressions in everyday activities. This past Halloween I was dismayed by kids coming to my door without expressing appreciation or even a “Happy Halloween”! Gently remind kids not to take gifts, even small tokens or gestures for granted.
- Express gratitude when service people do nice things for you. It’s easy to get into the habit of seeing service workers as people who are just doing a job. But teaching your child that those people are equals who deserve kindness and gratitude will go a long way toward teaching empathy for all.
- When someone in your family is having a rough day, play the “glad game”. For instance, if there is bad weather and your child has to miss an activity, help them to appreciate the extra time they get to spend with you or point out other opportunities the extra time opens up.
- Encourage members of your family to show gratitude toward each other. Not just with a simple “thank you” (although it’s a great start!) but by doing things to make each other happy. Encourage them to see how many times they can make each other smile in a single day.
If practiced frequently, gratitude will become second nature to your entire family. Gratitude doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or something we only practice once a year. Gratitude is a state of being that makes us be happier people and more connected to what we should be most grateful for– our families.
Our books have many great conversation starters, and they can help you improve communication between you and your children and help you stay connected. Check them out! ; How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography, which is also available in ; and .
Need Help with Tough Topics? We got you covered!Amanda Grossman-Scott is Board Vice president and Head Writer for Educate and Empower Kids. She has written for various magazines, newspapers and blogs and has been active in the journalism industry intermittently for the last 15 years. She studied Journalism and Communications. Amanda is from Lancaster, Pennsylvania and now lives with her husband and three children in San Antonio, Texas.
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Webb, Jenny. 30 Days to a Stronger Child, Educate and Empower Kids. Rising Parent Media, 2016
