By Kami Loyd
If I listed the plethora of amazing attributes of my dad, you would think I am exaggerating or describing a fictional character. Some may think “that’s nice” or “you’re lucky” and I agree that I am. But thankfully there is more than just one amazing dad in this world and I would like to introduce you to some of them so we can learn from them and be better parents.
The Balancing Father
One friend I asked commented that her dad and husband both had a way of interjecting into child vs. mother arguments without getting involved in the argument itself, while at the same time expressing that the argument was becoming disrespectful. Wise fathers have the ability to help family members recognize when they are being disrespectful of the other without resorting to abuse in any form. Alice Crider said, “Whatever form of discipline you choose, administer it with respect. Your child will learn nothing if you lose your cool. If you want him to be respectful, then you’ll have to model respect.” As fathers model respect, their children will see it and will choose to be respectful in return. Then the whole family will benefit just as my friends family has.
The Serving Father
Another friend talked about how his dad was always willing to serve others even when it was difficult or inconvenient. “He just serves others,” he said “family, friends, anyone. It doesn’t matter to my dad, he just wants to serve.” But why should we teach children to serve? Marilyn Price-Mitchell remarked, “one of the most important outcomes of [serving] for children is the potential to develop into more empathetic and caring young people.” Service is a quality that many parents want to teach their children because it fosters in them feelings of love, gratitude, respect, and caring for others. Emulating my second friends’ father will show our children the importance and value of service.
The Dependable Father
A third friend discussed how her father was always there for his children. She said:
“To this day he is the one person I know I can count on when I need help or an ear to listen…I can’t tell you what it means to me…to have him tell me he’s proud of the woman and more importantly the mother I became.”
Why is dependability important? Children need to know someone will always be there for them even when they make mistakes. Having a dependable father teaches them that there is always someone to have their back, help them as they deal with consequences, etc.
The Teaching Father
My first friend also commented how her father taught her. “I learned thing differently from a dad than a mom”. Most parents understand that each child is different and that teaching them all, in the same way is a futile effort. But it is also true that for different tasks, children may learn better from their dad than from their mom. Brett Copeland was quoted as saying “Fathers encourage competition, independence, and achievement. Mothers encourage equity, security, and collaboration.” Children need dads who teach them these important life skills.
The Perfect Dad
Each of my friends has had the perfect dad, just as I did, for them. The common element in all of these dads is that they engaged their kids. Yes, they all made mistakes in parenting and some took longer to learn the attributes I have described but each made an impact in their child’s life because they were interested, involved, and engaged. There are so many great dads around and at this time of year, we should celebrate them for who they are, what they teach and what we learn from their shining examples.
Ready to be one of these parents? Check out our book for more information to help you raise capable, confident children
Available in Kindle or Paperback!Kami Loyd received her bachelors of Marriage and Family from Brigham Young University-Idaho. She and her husband have been married for four years, and she is the proud mother of four children. Her interests include reading, board games, and most of all her family. She is passionate about helping her children and others find joy in family life.
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Citations:
Crider, A. (2009, Aug. & sept.). Handling Disrespect. Retrieved December 29, 2017, from https://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/effective-biblical-discipline/approaches-to-discipline/handling-disrespect
Loyd, S. (2015, June 03). Why Kids Need Their Dads. Retrieved December 29, 2017, from http://www.parenting.com/article/why-kids-need-their-dads
Price-Mitchell, M. (2015, June 11). Grow a Child’s Empathy in 3 Easy Ways. Retrieved December 29, 2017, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-moment-youth/201506/grow-childs-empathy-in-3-easy-ways
