By Caron C. Andrews
This is Part 2 in this series. Click here to read part 1.
Although the facts are startling and alarming, there is hope. There are concrete actions you can take as a parent to protect your children from the effects of this new reality.
- ESTABLISH YOURSELF AS A TRUSTED SOURCE OF INFORMATION, COMMUNICATION, AND ACCEPTANCE
One of the most powerful ways you can help protect your children is to establish open, trusted lines of communication with them. From an early age, they need to know that they can come to you when they are upset, confused, hurt, or angry; not just about sexual issues, but about anything in their lives. It’s imperative that you provide a safe, non-judgmental atmosphere for them. If children feel they can’t talk to a trusted adult for fear of criticism or ridicule, they are left on their own to navigate the world they see and try to interpret it the best they can.
Be willing to take the time to listen and really hear what your child is saying when he or she comes to you. Ask open-ended question to gather more information and determine what they’re really asking for. For example, if your six-year-old asks you what a specific sexual term means, find out where he or she heard it by asking “What do you know about it?” or “What do you think it means?” Many times young children don’t know exactly what they are asking, so finding out what the context is can help prevent giving more information than they really need at that point. Similarly, it can help pinpoint what the child’s true concern is. When children learn that they can discuss things with you and you’ll be patient, honest, and respectful of them, the trust will grow. Lay a foundation for this early and your children will likely continue coming to you as they grow older (Levin, D. E., & Kilbourne, J., 2008, p. 98-102).
- LIMIT YOUR CHILDREN’S EXPOSURE
Just saying no is not going to completely eliminate your kids’ exposure to media messages and images. However, you can set limits and boundaries within your own family. When children are very young, it’s easier to limit exposure by removing choice. But as they get older, it will take more compromise to keep the harmony. Be aware of what TV shows, video games, and music they like, and look into them. Set rules and routines for each child’s screen time. This will help children learn how to be selective of what they view. Help your kids to develop interest in activities outside of media time, such as sports, creative play, reading, and playing outdoors. Share with them the things you did for fun when you were their age (Levin, D. E., & Kilbourne, J., 2008, p. 98-102).
- TEACH KIDS HOW TO PROCESS WHAT THEY’VE SEEN THROUGH CREATIVE PLAY AND EXPRESSION
It’s important to give young children outlets through which they can process and come to terms with what they’ve seen. Establishing open communication will help tremendously. So will encouraging art and writing. This can be built into their routine. Provide toys and art supplies they can use to express their imaginations. When you see them playacting with dolls, drawing a picture, or writing, talk with them about what they’re creating and what it means to them. Be sure to allow plenty of this type of free playtime for them every day, and join them in their play (Levin, D. E., & Kilbourne, J., 2008, p. 98-102).
- COUNTERACT GENDER-BASED STEREOTYPES
Encourage your children to take part in a wide range of activities that interest them and use their individual skills. Deliberately introduce typical “girl” activities to boys and “boy” activities to girls, and do plenty of them all together. Encourage girls and boys to find common interests. Emphasize what your children can do and what they’re interested in rather than on their looks (Levin, D. E., & Kilbourne, J., 2008, p. 98-102).
- MAKE RULES AND BOUNDARIES ABOUT SHOPPING HABITS
Many marketers rely on the “nag factor”—kids whining and cajoling until their parents give in and buy them what they want. Setting up ground rules and limits about how your family will shop will prevent many unhappy scenes in stores. If young children know that a routine trip to the superstore for groceries and household items never includes purchasing toys or games, everyone can expect a smoother experience (Levin, D. E.).
Curious to learn more? Check out our books, ; How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography, which is also available in ; and .
Coming Soon: Part 3: The Impact of the Sexualized Childhood in Adolescence
Need Help with Tough Topics? We got you covered!Citations:
Levin, D. E., Dealing with the Impact of Today’s Sexualized Childhood on Young Children. Nayec.org. Retrieved from https://www.naeyc.org/files/tyc/file/TYC_V3N1_Levin.pdf
Levin, Diane E., Ph.D., and Kilbourne, Jean, Ed.D., So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do To Protect Their Kids (New York: Ballantine Books, 2008), 98-102.
