By Caron C. Andrews
Seeing addictive tendencies in our children can be scary and overwhelming. But showing early tendencies doesn’t have to lead our children into full-blown addictions as they get older. If you’ve spotted concerning tendencies in your children, NOW is the time to take action to help steer them away from possible addiction problems later in life.
Be Involved in Your Children’s Lives
Taking an active role in your children’s lives shows them that you are interested in them, care about them, and are willing to give them your time. Give your children positive feedback and praise for their efforts and achievements. Know what is influencing their daily lives—stress, relationships, school issues, and after-school activities—and be available as a sounding board and resource.
Teaching Effective Coping Skills
Encourage your kids to talk about and express their feelings. When they are dealing with a difficult situation, help them talk it out, sort it out, and make a plan for how to handle it most effectively. Face your children’s anger issues early, helping them to vent the anger and work through it. Good coping skills are necessary throughout life, and the earlier kids learn, the better they’ll be able to handle challenges and emotions.
Set Consistent, Firm Boundaries
Children need to know what they can count on from the adults in their lives in order to feel secure and safe. Being overly strict or overly lax in rules and discipline is not helpful to kids, who may rebel or set their own rules. Instead, set appropriate limits and explain to your children that they are in place to protect their safety, health, and well-being. Most importantly, once you’ve set a limit, you must stick to it consistently.
Show Your Child Warmth and Affection; Teach Emotional Intimacy
A parent’s affection and warmth for their children is instrumental in preventing behavior problems and future addiction problems. So is teaching them how to be emotionally intimate, truly knowing and caring for both themselves and others. A lack of warmth, affection, and emotional intimacy in the home can lead children to seek out a substitute for it in various addictive activities. Be sure that you’re talking with your kids affectionately, showing physical affection such as hugs or an approving squeeze, looking them in the eyes, smiling at them, and taking a genuine interest in their ideas and impressions. This will also help to foster healthy sexual attitudes.
Professional Therapy
A professional child therapist or psychologist can be very helpful in many circumstances, not only for your children, but for you and your spouse as well. Allowing a professional to step in when you don’t know what to do or how to help your children as they struggle with tough issues, or when the family dynamic needs objective help, can put the entire family on a more positive path.
Parents are in a powerful position to influence and empower their children, helping them build good emotional health. When we take these steps, we strengthen our children to be able to cope in healthy ways, reducing the risk of them becoming addicted to unhealthy substances or behaviors.
Curious to learn more? Check out our books, ; How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography, which is also available in ; and .
Need Help with Tough Topics? We got you covered!Caron C. Andrews is a contributing writer for Educate and Empower Kids who has been with us from our beginnings. She received her Bachelor of Arts degree in English, with a concentration in creative writing, from the University of New Mexico. In addition to her articles on healthy relationships, healthy sexuality, and combatting pornography addiction, she had copyedited medical books written for the lay reader, fantasy novels, and historical dramas. She is currently working on starting a blog and writing a novel. She is the mother of a teenage son and daughter and lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Sources:
Hartney, E. (2012, February). How to prevent addiction in your kids. Addictions.about.com. Retrieved from http://addictions.about.com/od/familyrelationships/tp/parent_discipline.htm
Seltzer, L. (2009, March). Childhood as an impulse control disorder (part 2). Psychologytoday.com. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200903/childhood-impulse-control-disorder-part-2
Stayton, A. (2013). Addictive tendencies: early signs to signal your child needs your help. Womenhealthmagazin.com. Retrieved from http://www.womenhealthmagzin.com/women-articles/addictive-tendencies.htm
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