By Kaitlynn Christiansen
The idea of New Year’s resolutions is wonderful. As I have gone through life, I have noticed that a lot of New Year’s resolutions often revolve around our bodies. We want to lose weight, gain muscle, stop eating “bad” foods, maybe even fit into those jeans from high school that we keep hidden in the back of our closets.
We all want to be successful and feel good about ourselves, but how are we going about it? How does the way we talk about these goals affect our children?
What You Don’t Want Your Kids to Hear
I am sure that most of us who have children have dealt with “little ears” and their ability to pick up so many things. Renowned educator, Maria Montessori said, “Everything you say to your child is absorbed, cataloged and remembered.” Some of those things we wish they didn’t pick up.
How do you imagine our children feel when they walk by our open bedrooms and see us staring at our reflection with sadness? Or when we have an internal argument with ourselves and finally choose to eat that piece of chocolate only to tell everyone in earshot that you’ll exercise for an extra ten minutes tomorrow. Our children pick up on far more than we are aware and they learn by watching us.
How Negative Body Image Affects Kids
Heather L. Littleton and Thomas Ollendick discuss the statistics of school-aged children who struggle with their body image, stating, “One such study found that among a sample of approximately 200 southeastern U.S. elementary school children between the ages of 8 and 10, 55% of girls and 35% of boys were dissatisfied with their weight.”
As they continue on, they talk about how the children’s perceptions of their bodies are also distorted. This occurs mostly in girls. They said that 46% of them see themselves as overweight when in reality only around 12% of them actually are.
Growing Healthy Body Image in Parents and Kids
The idea of an eight year old having a distorted body image is far too sad. How do we remedy this? How do we strive to be healthy and teach our children about fitness goals without harming their self esteem and the way they see themselves? Dear people, it is all in the way you discuss these things!
The world has totally unreasonable beauty standards. In real life, the models don’t even look like they do in their pictures. As a parent YOU have such an advantage and opportunity to teach your child about the glorious, miraculous gift that is their body. The first step is to change the way we talk about our fitness goals and our own bodies around our children.
Here are a few simple suggestions to help you get started:
- Talk about the amazing things your body can do
Say things like, “I am so glad that my body has the ability to let me spend time doing fun things with you. I want to take care of it by exercising.”
- Teach your child how to differentiate between foods
Instead of calling them good or bad, ask your kids how each food makes their bodies feel. This will teach them to listen to their bodies. Teach them what foods will fuel their body, and let them feel good and energized.
- Focus on the positive
When you look in the mirror, find something positive to say about yourself instead of criticizing yourself. To your child, you are their world. You are their comfort, their safety. Your worth is so much more than extra weight or crows feet. As you strive to teach your child their infinite worth, you may start to remember your own.
- When setting goals, don’t make it all about weight and appearance
Set goals that have to do with longevity and long-term happiness. Things such as “I want to do purposeful, active movement at least four days a week for 30 minutes so that I can take care of my body because I love it.”
Takeaway
I still love the new year and the renewed life that it always brings. This year may we be more thoughtful, and more deliberate in the way we live life. Life truly is a gift and we have the ability to show our children how we can make positive changes that don’t cost us our self love. Change is good and beautiful. Change is ongoing. There will be other new years but right now is the perfect time to start teaching our children how we can set goals but still love ourselves as we are, where we are.
For more ideas on how to help children develop healthy body images, check out our books Messages About Me: Sydney’s Story: A Girl’s Journey to Healthy Body Image and Messages About Me: Wade’s Story: A Boy’s Quest for Healthy Body Image.
Kaitlynn Christiansen is an elementary teacher who is pursuing a bachelor’s degree in Marriage and Family Studies from Brigham Young University-Idaho. She loves to learn and is passionate about educating families about healthy relationships.
Citations:
Littleton, H. L., & Ollendick, T. (2003, March 1). Negative Body Image and Disordered Eating Behavior in Children and Adolescents: What Places Youth at Risk and How Can These Problems be Prevented? SpringerLink. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1022266017046
Montessori, M. (2017, February 19). Maria Montessori: Everything You Say to Your Child Is Absorbed, Cataloged and Remembered. Bilingual Kidspot. https://bilingualkidspot.com/bilingualquotes/everything-you-say-to-your-child-is-absorbed-catalogued-and-remembered-2/
