With so many different definitions and terminology for gender identity, sexual orientation, and prounouns out there, it can be easy to get lost. You may even wonder if all these identities really mean anything. Whether you agree with the idea of choosing one’s gender or not, it is helpful for every parent to keep up with the concerns, trends, and shifts in societal norms and language.
In The End of Gender written by sex neuroscientist Debroah Soh says, “With the number of genders increasing exponentially by the day, it’s hard to stay on top of things. You’ve likely heard that some people identify as both genders or neither, and that others have a gender that alternates from when they wake up until they go to sleep. One BBC film used to educate school children during healthy class suggests that there are more than 100 gender identities” (Soh, 2021).
You might be wondering, what does gender identity even mean? It’s often described as being a person’s personal sense of one’s own gender. Sometimes, gender identity can correlate with the sex they were assgined at birth (male or female) or sometimes their gender identity can differ from their assigned sex at birth.
Your children might be more familiar with these terms than you are. In order to be fully inclusive, educated, and up to date, it’s important to do research. Good thing for you, we did all the research and compiled a list of terminology/definitions so you don’t have to!
Remember, gender can be complex and people are defining themselves in new and different ways. To gain a deeper understanding of gender identities, have an open mind and be respectful. Some terms may mean different things to different people. There may be certain terms some people may not like to use/call themselves and some terms that that person would prefer to use/call themselves. You can’t assume someone’s gender identity based on appearance, stereotype, or social norms. If you’re afraid of making a mistake, fear not! If you’re ever wondering what someone would prefer to be called, it is best to ask the person. Basically, by being practical and treating others how you want to be treated everyone can feel respected and supported.
Let’s start with explaining what each letter means in the abbreviation LGBTQIA+
L – Lesbian = a female who is sexually/romantically oreinted towards another female.
G – Gay = anyone who is attracted to their same gender at birth.
B – Bisexual = a person who is attracted to both males and females.
T – Trans, Transexual, or Transgender:
Trans – an inclusive term for anyone whose gender identity does not match their sex assigned at birth.
Transexual – can mean someone transitioning from one sex to another using surgery or medical treatments; not in common usage
Transgender – term for someone who identifies as a different gender than what was assigned on their birth certificate.
Q – Queer = an inclusive term for every sexual orientation, gender identity, and pronouns. It’s a unique celebration of not molding to social norms
I – Intersex = used for individuals who don’t fit into specific gender norms of woman or man; can also be used for those with internal and external reproductive anatomy that aren’t biologically typical.
A – Asexual = uses for those who don’t feel sexual attraction to either sex or that don’t feel romantic attraction in the typical way.
+ – All other queer communities such as non-binary, genderfluid, pansexual, etc. which will all be described below.
Gender Identities
Thank you to HealthLine and Penn State University for their helpful guides that helped create this list.
A-D
Agender = refers to those who do not identify as any gender at all
AFAB = Acronym meaning “assigned female at birth.”
AMAB = Acronym meaning “assigned male at birth.” This is important because many trans people use them as a way to talk about their gender identity without being pinned down to more essentialist narratives about their “sex” or what gender they “used to be”.
Aliagender = A nonbinary gender identity that doesn’t fit into existing gender schemas or constructs.
Androgyne/Androgynous = Someone who has a gender presentation or identity that’s gender-neutral, androgynous, or has both masculine and feminine characteristics.
Aporagender = Both an umbrella term and nonbinary gender identity describing the experience of having a specific gender that’s different from man, woman, or any combination of the two.
Bigender/Trigender/Pangender = People who feel they are two, three, or all genders. They may shift between these genders or be all of them at the same time.
Binarism = Generally, binarism refers to the gender systems and schemas that are based on the existence of two opposing parts, such as man/woman or masculine/feminine. More specifically, binarism is a type of sexism that erases ethnic or culture-specific nonbinary gender roles and identities.
Boi (pronounced boy) = 1. A female-bodied person who expresses or presents themselves in a culturally/stereotypically masculine, particularly boyish way. 2. One who enjoys being perceived as a young male and intentionally identifies with “boy” rather than “man.”
Butch: A masculine gender expression which can be used to describe people of any gender. Butch can also be a gender identity to some.
CAFAB/CAMAB: Coercively assigned female at birth and coercively assigned male at birth respectively. These terms refer to what gender intersex people are assigned at birth and reflect the specific way that intersex people are coerced into one of two limited gender categories which attempt to erase their difference. These terms have been co-opted by trans people but this needs to stop as these are intersex specific terms.
Cisgender = A term used to describe people who exclusively identify with the sex and gender they were assigned at birth. i.e. if they were born female, they identify as female.
Cishet = A term that refers to someone who is both cisgender and heterosexual.
Demiboy = This nonbinary gender identity describes someone who partially identifies with being a boy, man, or masculine. The term demiboy tells you about someone’s gender identity but doesn’t convey any information about the sex or gender assigned to someone at birth. A demiboy can be cisgender or trans.
Demigirl = This nonbinary gender identity describes someone who partially identifies with being a girl, woman, womxn, or feminine. The term demigirl tells you about someone’s gender identity but doesn’t convey any information about the sex or gender assigned to someone at birth. A demigirl can be cisgender or trans.
Demigender = This umbrella term typically includes nonbinary gender identities and uses the prefix “demi-” to indicate the experience of having a partial identification or connection to a particular gender.This may include: demigirl, demiboy, demienby, demitrans.
Demisexual = describes someone who requires an emotional bond to form a sexual attraction.
Dyadic = This describes people who have sex characteristics — such as chromosomes, hormones, internal organs, or anatomy — that can be easily categorized into the binary sex framework of male or female. It means people who aren’t intersex.
E-H
Feminine-of-center = This describes people who experience their gender as feminine or femme. Some feminine-of-center people also identify with the word “woman,” but others don’t. The term feminine-of-center tells you about someone’s gender identity but doesn’t convey any information about the sex or gender assigned to them at birth.
Feminine-presenting = This describes people who have a gender expression or presentation that they or others categorize as feminine. Feminine-presenting is a term that captures the part of someone’s gender that’s shown externally, either through aspects of their style, appearance, physical traits, mannerisms, or body language. This term doesn’t necessarily indicate anything about the way someone identifies their gender or the gender or sex assigned to them at birth.
Femme = This is a label for a gender identity or expression that describes someone with a gender that is or leans toward feminine. Some femmes also identify with the term “woman,” while many others don’t. Femme indicates the way someone experiences or expresses their gender and doesn’t provide any information about the gender or sex assigned to them at birth.
Female-to-male (FTM) = This term is most commonly used to refer to trans males, trans men, and some transmasculine people who were assigned female at birth. It’s important to only use this term if someone wants to be referred to this way, as some trans men and transmasculine people use terms that don’t include or indicate the sex they were assigned at birth.
Gender apathetic = This term describes someone who doesn’t strongly identify with any gender or with any gender labels. Some gender apathetic people also use terms that indicate their relationship with the sex or gender assigned to them at birth — such as cis apathetic or trans apathetic — while others don’t. Generally, people who are gender apathetic display an attitude of flexibility, openness, and “not caring” about how gender identity or presentation is perceived and labeled by others.
Gender binary = Also known as gender binarism, this term refers to gender classification systems — whether cultural, legal, structural, or social — that organize gender or sex into two mutually exclusive categories such man/woman or masculine/feminine.
Gender expansive = An umbrella term that’s used to refer to people who subvert or don’t conform to society’s dominant view of gender. This could include trans people, nonbinary people, people who are gender nonconforming, and more.
Genderless = A term very similar to agender but sometimes with more of a focus on not having a gender.
Gender-neutral pronouns = These pronouns aren’t stereotypically or culturally categorized as masculine or feminine or for men or women. Gender-neutral pronouns are used by both cisgender and transgender individuals as a way to affirm and convey important information about who they are and how they want to be referred to.
Examples include:
they/them/theirs
ze/hir/hirs
ze/zir/zirs
xe/xem/xyrs
Gender nonconforming = This term is used to describe people with a gender expression or presentation that’s different from cultural or social stereotypes associated with the person’s perceived or assigned gender or sex. Gender nonconforming isn’t a gender identity, though some people do self-identify using this term. It doesn’t convey any information about the way someone experiences gender internally. More accurately, gender nonconforming is a term used to describe physical traits in relation to socially and culturally defined gender categories. People of any gender — cis, trans, or nonbinary — can be gender nonconforming.
Gender normative = A term used to describe gender traits or identities that are perceived to fall within social norms and expectations.
Gender questioning = A person who’s questioning one or multiple aspects of their gender, such as their gender identity or expression.
Gender variant = Similar to gender nonconforming, gender variant is an umbrella term used to describe people with a gender identity, expression, or presentation that’s different from the perceived social norm or dominant group. Some people dislike this term because of its potential to perpetuate misinformation and negative stigma about noncisgender gender identities and nonconforming presentation being less “normal” or naturally occurring.
Genderfluid = This label is used to describe gender identity or expression. It involves the experience of moving between genders or having a gender that changes over a particular period of time. For example, from moment to moment, day to day, month to month, year to year, or decade to decade.
Genderqueer =This nonbinary gender identity and term describes someone with a gender that can’t be categorized as exclusively man or woman, or exclusively masculine or feminine. People who are genderqueer experience and express gender in different ways. This can include neither, both, or a combination of man, woman, or nonbinary genders.
Gendervoid = A term that describes someone without a gender identity. Although it’s similar to agender, gendervoid is usually associated with a feeling of loss or lack.
Graygender = A gender term that describes someone who experiences ambivalence about gender identity or expression, and doesn’t fully identify with a binary gender that’s exclusively man or woman.
Graysexual = refers to the “gray area” between asexuality and sexuality.
I-P
Intergender: Those who feel their gender identity is between man and woman, both man and woman, or outside of the binary of man and woman. It is sometimes used by intersex people who are also non-binary.
Intersex: A person born with any manner of supposed “ambiguity” in terms of gendered physical characteristics. This can include reproductive organs, genitals, hormones, chromosomes, or any combination thereof.
Masculine-of-center = This term describes people who experience their gender as masculine or masc. Some masculine-of-center people also identify with the word “man,” but many others don’t. The term masculine-of-center tells you about someone’s gender identity but doesn’t convey any information about the sex or gender assigned to them at birth.
Masculine-presenting = This term describes people who have a gender expression or presentation that they or others categorize as masculine. Masculine-presenting captures the part of someone’s gender that’s shown externally, either through aspects of their style, appearance, physical traits, mannerisms, or body language. This term doesn’t necessarily indicate anything about the way someone identifies their gender or the gender or sex assigned to them.
Maverique = This nonbinary gender identity emphasizes the inner experience of gender.
It describes those who experience gender or have a core gender identity that’s independent of existing categories and definitions of gender, man or woman, masculine or feminine, and androgynous or neutral.
Misgender = The act of referring to someone using a gender pronoun or gendered language that’s incorrect, inaccurate, or not inclusive of the person’s actual gender identity.
Male-to-female (MTF) = This term is most commonly used to refer to trans women and some transfeminine people who were assigned male at birth. It’s important to only use this term if someone prefers to be referred to this way, as some trans women and some transfeminine people prefer to use terms that don’t include or overtly indicate the sex they were assigned at birth.
Multi-gender = This umbrella term is used to describe people who experience more than one gender identity. In some cases, gender fluid may also fall under this umbrella. Other gender labels that fall under the multi-gender umbrella include: bigender, trigender, pangender, and polygender.
Neutrois = This nonbinary identity and umbrella term is used to describe people who have a gender that isn’t exclusively man or woman. Neutrois can be a broader term encompassing other gender identities, such as nonbinary, agender, genderfluid, or genderless.
Non-binary/genderqueer = a term used for those who do not conform to binary gender identities. Also referred to as “enby,” this is a gender identity and umbrella term for gender identities that can’t be exclusively categorized as man or woman. Individuals who are nonbinary can experience gender a variety of ways, including a combination of man and woman, neither man nor woman, or something else altogether. Some nonbinary individuals are trans, while many others don’t. Whether a nonbinary person is also trans typically depends on the extent to which that person identifies, even partially, with the sex and gender assigned to them at birth.
Novigender = People who use this gender identity experience having a gender that can’t be described using existing language due to its complex and unique nature.
Omnigender = A nonbinary gender identity that describes people who experience all or many gender identities on the gender spectrum simultaneously or over time. Similar to pangender.
Pangender = A nonbinary gender identity that describes people who experience all or many gender identities on the gender spectrum simultaneously or over time. Similar to omnigender.
Polygender = This gender identity term describes the experience of having multiple gender identities simultaneously or over time. This term indicates the number of gender identities someone experiences but doesn’t necessarily indicate which genders are included in the given person’s polygender identity.
Pansexual/omnisexual = a term for individuals with desire for all genders and sexes
Polyamorous = a term for those open to multiple consensual romantic or sexual relationships at one time.
Q-Z
Soft butch = Both a gender identity and term used to describe the nonconforming gender expression of someone who has some masculine or butch traits, but doesn’t fully fit the stereotypes associated with masculine or butch cisgender lesbians.
Stone butch = Both a gender identity and term used to describe the nonconforming gender expression of someone who embodies traits associated with feminine butchness or stereotypes associated with traditional masculinity.
Stud = A term used by people of color, and primarily by African Americans, referring to people, often women, who are masculine or butch. Though many studs identify as women and with the lesbian community, not all do.
Stealth = To be stealth is to live as the gender you identify as but to not be out as trans, in affect it means passing as cisgender. Often people go stealth for safety reasons or so that they can have things like job and home security, something a lot of trans people don’t have.
Sapiosexual = describes a person who is attracted to intelligence, regardless of a person’s gender identity
Third Gender = In some cultures third (and fourth and so on) genders may be commonly accepted alongside man and woman. Some people in western cultures may identify as third gender as well, however it’s important not to erase the multitudes of genders present in the world.
Transgender or trans = Both an umbrella term including many gender identities and a specific gender identity that describes those with a gender identity that’s different from the gender or sex assigned at birth.
Transmasculine = A gender identity label that conveys the experience of having a masculine gender identity that’s different than the gender or sex that was assigned at birth.
Transfeminine = A gender identity label that conveys the experience of having a feminine gender identity that’s different from the gender or sex that was assigned at birth.
Transsexual = Falling under the transgender umbrella, transsexual is a word that was medically and historically used to indicate a difference between one’s gender identity (i.e., the internal experience of gender) and sex assigned at birth (as male, female, or intersex). Transsexual is often (though not always) used to communicate that one’s experience of gender involves a medical diagnosis or medical changes — such as hormones or surgery — that help alter anatomy and appearance to feel more congruent with gender identity. Due to a fraught history, the word transsexual can be contentious and shouldn’t be used unless someone specifically asks to be referred to this way.
Trigender = This gender identity describes the experience of having three gender identities, simultaneously or over time. This term indicates the number of gender identities someone experiences but doesn’t necessarily indicate which genders are included in a given person’s trigender identity.
Two-spirit = a term used by Native Americans to describe a third gender. The abbreviation for this is 2S. It can mean a person who walks between genders; one who carries the gifts of both males and females, or one who is gender unique. (sometimes 2S is included in the main acronym as LGBTQIA2S+)
In conclusion, it’s important to be educated on these matters and to teach our children to respect members of the LGBTQIA+ community. LGBTQ individuals are a part of our communities and the communities that our children interact in, both off and online. We all know someone who is part of the LGBTQ community and so do our children. As a result, we need to examine our own feelings and possible prejudices and be ready to deal with them. It is important that we make sure we are the ones to directly teach our children, often through a combination of discussion and example. Remember that action reinforces conversations. Our children watch us and hear us. It is crucial that our words of love, and understanding for all people be matched with our actual words and behaviors!
If you need help starting conversations with your children about gender identities, check out our ebooks, Conversations with My Kids: 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age or 30 Days of Sex Talks: Empowering Your Child with Knowledge of Sexual Intimacy.
Emie Marulanda is a student at Brigham Young University-Idaho who is currently studying Marriage and Family Studies. She is passionate about empowering parents to empower their kids for a bright, healthy future.
Citations:
Soh, D. (2021). The End of Gender: Debunking the Myths about Sex and Identity in Our Society. Page 68-82
Abrams, M. (2022, February 9). 68 Terms that Describe Gender Identity and Expression. Healthline. Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health/different-genders
Penn State University. (2021). Gender diversity terminology. Penn State Student Affairs. Retrieved from https://studentaffairs.psu.edu/csgd/explore-lgbtq-resources/identity-based/gender-terms
