By Cibelia Santos
James Timothy Woods was a 17-year-old high school student. He loved sports, especially cross country and track, and was loved by everyone around him. He loved to make people smile; his family said that “his magnetic personality relaxed the most rigid of souls.” However, James’ life was cut short because of the actions of sextortion sex offenders. According to James’ family’s report, “The culprits extorted money from James, mentally tortured him, threatened him, and harassed him all night and into the next day. James tried everything he could to stop his parents from learning about the embarrassing acts that had taken place. On November 19, 2022, James took his life.” On January 13, 2023, James’ parents, Tamia and Tim Woods, created the “Do It for James” Foundation with the intention of protecting other parents from the same pain they went through.
I had the privilege of interviewing James’ parents. Tamia and Tim Woods do an extraordinary job of raising awareness about sextortion. They have given several interviews, been on multiple podcasts, and have visited different middle and high schools to tell their story. They also provide tools and give suggestions on what to do if a young child is in a situation similar to James’s, such as sextortion. Tamia and Tim’s work goes beyond sextortion; they talk about issues such as rape, molestation, cyberbullying, harassment, and other crimes that are detrimental to our youth.
Sometimes, teenagers will tell Tamia and Tim that they are thinking about suicide or that they are the victim of some form of crime. In cases like this, Tamia and Tim work together with local organizations like the FBI, Internet Crimes Against Children, sheriffs, and police departments to provide tools and give these teenagers the assistance they need to overcome the problems and challenges they are facing.
What is Sextortion and How Does This Crime Happen?
Sextortion is a serious crime that can be manifested in various ways, but at its core, it is the threat of exposing sexually explicit images to coerce victims into giving predators money, sex, or providing additional pictures or other “favors.” Statistics show a frightening fact that the “FBI has seen a huge increase in the number of cases involving children and teens being threatened and coerced into sending explicit images online” (FBI, 2020). These predators are using online venues such as gaming sites, social media, messaging platforms, and chat rooms to manipulate these young victims by putting them in situations where they will feel forced to comply with the sexual offender’s demands.
Sextortion generally begins when the child or teenager believes that they are communicating with someone their age who wants to have a relationship with them. Online predators often succeed in gaining the child’s trust by pretending to be someone they are not, usually a young person of the victim’s desired romantic gender. The victim is then manipulated into sending sexual pictures and videos to their supposed romantic partner. Once the photos have been obtained, the threats begin. The offenders threaten to publish this material for parents, friends, schools, and others to see.
In 2022, “law enforcement has received more than 7,000 reports related to the online financial sextortion of minors, resulting in at least 3,000 victims” (FBI, 2022). The victims are primarily boys, and many of them end up taking their own lives. These online sex offenders “often use fake female accounts, and they target minor males between 14 to 17 years old, but the FBI has interviewed victims as young as 10 years old” (FBI, 2022).
What Can Parents Do?
Tamia and Tim advise parents to build a trusting relationship with their children. Talk about issues like sextortion, popular apps that can make them easy targets for sexual predators, sex, nudes, and cyberbullying with your kids. Make sure your children trust you enough to talk about any subject with you. Tamia and Tim advise parents who have children over the age of 17, who often don’t want to share their activities on social media, to ask their children to write down on paper every password they have for all the apps and websites they use, put it in an envelope, and seal it. Parents would only open this envelope in case of emergency. Tamia said that an envelope like this, with passwords, could have helped a couple she knew whose son was also a victim of sextortion. They wanted to check their son’s phone to find out what led their son to take his own life, but they didn’t have access to any of his passwords. Even after their son’s death, Apple did not allow them to have access to their son’s phone information. They only found out what happened to their son 10 months later because they were able to get the military to hack their son’s phone.
The Woods also advise parents with children under 16 to have apps to help identify any dangerous activities their children may be engaging in on the internet. Apps like Bark can help parents monitor text messages, emails, social activity, or any issues that might indicate that something is wrong in their child’s online world. Tamia also talks about the app called Take it Down, which is a free service provided by the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. It can help you remove or stop the online sharing of nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit images or videos taken of your children when they were under 18 years of age. There are many other apps that can help parents monitor their children’s activities on their phones or computers.
Our children need to understand that all we want is to protect them and that we will be here for them in any situation, even if they have made serious mistakes. As parents, we need to make sure our children understand that they can count on us in any and all situations.
Parents and caregivers must be aware that there are unimaginable dangers surrounding children of this generation! The internet can be dangerous for everyone, but children and teenagers are most vulnerable. These online threats can have severe and tragic consequences. Parents need to be aware and help their children be aware of heinous crimes like sextortion.
For more information about parenting in the digital age and how you can help your child develop the qualities they need to live a healthy, balanced, and strong life, check out our books: Conversations with My Kids: 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age and 30 Days to a Stronger Child.
If you would like to make a donation to the Do It for James Foundation and help more people become aware of this cybercrime, please go to the foundation’s website.
Cibelia Santos is originally from Brazil, but she has lived in the United States for over 16 years with her wonderful husband and three children. Cibelia is pursuing a Marriage and Families Studies degree at Brigham Young University-Idaho. One of her biggest dreams is to be able to help families, especially parents, to raise their children in a healthy, happy, and safe way.
Citations
Do It for James(2023). Do It For James Foundation Donations. (n.d.). https://www.letsdifj.org/about-2
FBI. (2020, November 10). Sextortion: What kids and caregivers need to know. FBI. https://www.fbi.gov/how-we-can-help-you/safety-resources/scams-and-safety/common-scams-and-crimes/sextortion
FBI. (2022, December 19). FBI and Partners Issue National Public Safety Alert on Financial Sextortion Schemes. FBI. https://www.fbi.gov/news/press-releases/fbi-and-partners-issue-national-public-safety-alert-on-financial-sextortion-schemes
Herring, H. (2020). Five great ways to bring truly open communication to your home. Educate Empower Kids. https://educateempowerkids.org/five-great-ways-to-bring-truly-open-communication-to-your-home
Hines, E. (2021). Protecting your kids from cyberbullying: The quick and essential guide. Educate Empower Kids. https://educateempowerkids.org/protecting-your-kids-from-cyberbullying-the-quick-and-essential-guide
Orden, T. V. (2019). 13 apps every parent should know in 2020. Educate Empower Kids. https://educateempowerkids.org/13-apps-every-parent-should-know-in-2020/
Yerkes, K. (2022). Be your child’s first choice for sex ed -instead of google. Educate Empower Kids. https://educateempowerkids.org/be-your-childs-first-choice-for-sex-ed/
