By Kaitlin Harker
You and your family are walking into a crowded restaurant and are planning on having a good time and just relaxing. Then, your child’s hands start shaking, they go a little pale, and they begin to have trouble breathing. Perhaps these same signs occur before they take a test or have a performance. Maybe they just occur out of the blue and you don’t know how to react.
What is Anxiety?
According to the American Psychological Association, “Anxiety is an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure” (2022). We can see these symptoms becoming more common in our children and youth today. They are being held to unrealistic expectations of perfection and facing new trials and challenges that most of us have never faced. Our children feel pressure from almost everyone around them, from teachers, peers, parents, and siblings. Some of these major sources of pressure come from social media platforms, something that we as parents did not have to face growing up. Social media exposes our children to unrealistic, edited ideals which give our children the impression that they aren’t good enough. Sometimes that pressure can be overwhelming and our children might not know how to react. Thankfully, there are things that we can teach our children about their emotions and how to work through them.
Three Things We Can Teach Our Children
Having feelings is normal and our children should not feel guilty for having certain feelings. Everyone feels some anxiety at one point or another and that is okay. Let your children know that you are a safe person, someone that they can always come and talk to. Coming up with a code word for when they are feeling anxious and need to take a break from the activity or environment they are in is a smart choice too. Ensure that the code word is something that both you and your child know and can easily pronounce.
- Having feelings is normal
- You are a safe person for your child
- Come up with a code word that both you and your child can use
Identify the Triggers and Work with Them
A trigger is an event or situation that causes an individual’s anxiety to be increased. It is something that causes our children’s stress levels to rise. Examples of this could be crowded spaces, a presentation that they have to give, seeing a certain individual, or taking a test.
- Ask your child what is making them feel stressed
- Ask your child why this idea/object/person etc. is making them stressed? Why is it causing them to feel scared or nervous?
- Come up with a game plan for the next time that they encounter that trigger
Coping Techniques and Strategies
The following coping techniques from Blisslove Counseling and Consulting can be used to help ground yourself or your child. They are simple techniques that can be done anywhere.
- Five Senses
- First, identify five things you can see.
- Second, identify four things that you can touch.
- Third, identify three things that you can hear.
- Fourth, identify two things that you can smell.
- Fifth, identify one thing you can taste.
- Earth, Wind, Water, Fire
- Sit down, close your eyes, and firmly plant your feet on the ground. Push into the ground as much as you can.
- Take a deep breath in and then release it. Do this again.
- Pretend that you are biting into a juicy lime or lemon.
- Finally, open your eyes and find something that is bright orange, yellow, or red, something that resembles fire.
As you and your child learn more about anxiety and what causes it, it can become more manageable. Along with this, children can begin to feel safer and more stable as they face anxiety triggers and are able to use their new coping skills. As a parent, it is important to practice these coping skills with your children so that you are able to help them calm down.
Other Resources
For more information on how to help your students manage their anxiety, check out this online lesson: Master of Their Body. This lesson helps children to learn that they can be in control of their own bodies and what happens to them. Another great resource would be 30 Days To A Stronger Child. Full of great lessons with engaging discussion points and meaningful questions, your child will develop the qualities to live a healthy, strong, and balanced life.
Kaitlin Harker is a junior at Brigham Young University and will be graduating next April with a degree in English. She has been married to her best friend for ten months, and they have a husky named Osha. In her free time, Kaitlin enjoys hiking, being outside, and reading mystery novels.
Citations:
American Psychological Association. (2022). Anxiety. American Psychological Association. Retrieved June 25, 2022, from https://www.apa.org/topics/anxiety
Thomas-DeWildt, S. (2008). Find Your Bliss. Retrieved July 8, 2022, from https://blissloveaz.org/
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