By Caron C. Andrews
Using the “lazy days” for building bonds, reinforcing confidence and fortifying your family.
I love the lazy days of summer when school year schedules take a vacation, the household pace slows, and I have lots more time with my kids. Summertime is the traditional time for family vacations and relaxation, when the stresses of everyday life ease for a season. We can use this time to connect in a different way with our kids, focusing on taking their extra time at home and our extra time together to talk about important issues. Now is the time to discuss and make a plan for how to handle any potential problems in the upcoming school year. It’s also the time to establish and/or reinforce healthy emotional habits such as positive self-talk and building self-esteem.
To fortify is to strengthen or give courage and endurance to something. We can make our time together with our kids count by fortifying them for the new school year, by building our relationships with them, and by helping them create healthy habits. How can we do this?
Specific Important Issues
Talk about your and your children’s goals for the upcoming school year. Get specific and come up with a plan. Do they want to develop better study habits? Make guidelines and schedules now to help them when the time comes. Are they having a problem with a bully? Discuss ways it can be handled: with the bully’s parent or school administration, and through building your child’s confidence and communication skills. Are they struggling with anxiety about academics, the social scene at school, or getting on the team? If they are not enrolled in challenging, but not overwhelming, classes for the new school year, contact the school to make changes in your kids’ courses or individual adjustments to the classroom curriculum.
Are there things your kids can do to improve their relationships with their friends or clean up any unfinished social business from last year? Encourage them to do it during the summer downtime by talking honestly and openly with their friends about past problems. Are they practicing their sport during the summer to improve their skills before tryouts? Make practice a family affair that will benefit each person physically and strengthen family relationships.
Use our books for great discussions with your kids!Healthy Emotional Habits
If your child tends to talk negatively about himself or focus on his less-than-stellar moments, take the time to help him turn his thoughts around. Teach him positive self-talk. Explain that our thoughts become our reality: if your child thinks he can’t, he won’t. If he thinks he can, he will. Help him remember times when he succeeded and excelled. Remind him of his strengths and talents. Give specific examples of his positive qualities, such as times he made a difference to someone else, habits he has that you appreciate and why you appreciate them, and positive improvement he’s made in a challenging area. Teach your child that when his own negative self-talk creeps in, to stop it in its tracks by replacing it with these specific positive thoughts.
Help your child continue to build her self-esteem this summer. Give her specific examples of how she is special and unique. Encourage her to try the challenging new activity that she’s drawn to this summer but is afraid to try. When you see her acting kindly to a sibling or taking initiative around the house, acknowledge it and praise her for it.
For examples of activities and ways you can develop good communication with and nurture your kids this summer, read our articles: 4 Simple Activities That Can Enhance Communication With Your Kids, 6 Meaningful Nurturing Activities to Do With Your Teenager, 4 Simple Activities That Can Nurture Your Kids, “3 Ways To Improve Communication With Your Kids Now, 3 Ways To Increase Communication With Your Child, 5 Ways A Mother Can Develop Self-Worth In Her Son, and 5 Ways To Nurture Your Preteen.
You can make the lazy days of summer really count and fortify your kids for school starting right now. It can make a big difference in the quality of the upcoming school year for all of you.
For more information on this and many other subjects to help you raise a strong child, check out our book . Filled with timely topics, each of the simple lessons provides activities and great discussion questions that will bring you and your child closer together!
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