By Amanda Grossman-Scott
Summer time can be a season for an education of a different sort. Use it to your advantage!
The last week of school everything gets thrown by the wayside. My kids are bringing home stacks of papers, smelly stuff that’s been in their lockers or desks all year and sports equipment is thrown in every available corner. I cannot wait for school to end so I can get control of my life! I think. Now it’s over and my house is crawling with neighborhood kids! Kick them out! You might say. But the fact is that I welcome them. Because I know my house is a safe zone. Free from drugs, pornography, bad TV, incessant video gaming and other less desirable influences. The price I pay is an empty pantry and a yard and pool full of kids… and I’m okay with that.
A few days ago one of the kids smelled not so great. I wasn’t going to single him out so I went to a dollar store and bought a whole bunch of deodorants and handed them out like trophies. “Congratulations!” I said, “You’ve all worked hard enough that you’re starting to stink!” They thought it was funny and I think they were oddly proud of themselves. What could have been an awkward conversation turned into a funny experience! If you look for them, opportunities for talking to your child about sex and other issues can be plentiful in the summer.
Changing Bodies
Summer is a great time to talk about changing bodies. Partly because those changes are more apparent in the summer. Our kids’ bodies are more exposed and they sweat more, they are generally getting more exercise which can cause bodily changes. There are easy ways to bring up body changes in the summer. Talking about how it might be time for a new bathing suit or to start using deodorant is relatively easy. Take this occasion to let them ask any other questions they may have about their developing body. You’ve got a semi-captive audience- might as well take advantage of it!
Continue Talking to Your Child About Sex
Summer is a good time to talk about sex because it will have time to sink in and they’ll have time to ask questions before heading back to class. Particularly for younger children, it’s a great time to talk to them without confusing input from peers. But for older children, we should take advantage of any “one on one” time we can get.
Nancy Maloney, Ph.D., president of the Long Beach-South Bay Chapter of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists says, “At a crucial time when sexual exploration can be confusing and intimidating, many teens [and kids] are cheated of information,” Maloney adds, “So most kids really aren’t sure what to believe… we have to be really careful as parents as to what kind of environment we’re providing.” (Fu, 2014) Keep that open dialogue going with your kids. If you haven’t started talking, summer is a great time to start talking to your child about sex because of the more relaxed, less pressurized atmosphere.
Prepare for Pornography
With all that spare time on their hands, kids are bound to ask for more screen time. Use this opportunity to set a or reiterate the standards you have. Talk about your family’s rules about pornography and why you have them. (Here are some helpful resources: 5 Things You (As a Parent) Need to Know About Modern Day Porn, and 5 Things Your Child Needs to Know About Porn, the and our book How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography.) Ask your child about things he or she may have seen at school the previous year and prepare them for what might come up in the future.
Although school is out, your kids are continuing their education. Make sure it’s one you know of and have approved.
Check out our books for awesome conversation starters about this and other sometimes-difficult subjects!
Looking for our latest, greatest conversation starters? Check out Conversations with My Kids: 30 Essential Family Discussions for the Digital Age.
Citations:
Fu, S. (n.d.). Sex in the Summertime. Sex in the Summertime. Retrieved June 28, 2014, from http://www.healthcentral.com/sexual-health/STD-256815-5_2.html
