By Amanda Grossman-Scott
- Show them you can be trusted by being honest. Saying “you can trust me” is one thing. Showing it with your actions is another. Be open and communicate about your friendships and relationships. If something is going on that you’d be ashamed for your parents to know, maybe you should think twice about doing it. If your parents are respectful enough to give you privacy, return that respect by being honest with them. when you make a mistake. They’re bound to find out anyway and things always go much better when parents find out from you.
- Set ground rules. What are you comfortable talking about? Are you more comfortable talking to one parent than another? It’s okay to have limits, as long as you’re willing to talk. Do you know what your parents expectations of you are? If you think your parent’s rules are unreasonable, try talking with them unemotionally. If you think they don’t understand your concerns, educate them. Make a list of concerns ahead of time and try to remain calm. Your parents are much more likely to listen to a level-headed young adult than a screaming, whining kid.
- Listen. I know, it seems like they are just saying the same things over and over. “Be safe, be careful who you get into a car with, be careful who you give your personal information to, be careful who you trust your heart with.” It may seem like all they want to do is (over)protect you but when it comes down to it, they really want to empower you. No one cares about your safety and well-being more than your parents–not your boyfriend, best friend or Twitter Fans. Behind all of your parent’s lecturing is this: they love you and care about you and know you are worthy of all good things in your life. Making poor choices now can greatly reduce your chances for happiness later.
- Be grateful. Be grateful that your parents are interested in communicating with you. Some parents just give up during the adolescent years and treat their kids like animals to be fed and yelled at a few times a day. but if they’re trying to talk to you at all, it’s because they want to be good parents to you, nurture and work at the relationship.
- Ask for their advice and sometimes even follow it. Being a kid sometimes stinks. Your parents have lived through it already and may have a few l with it. Try to get them to talk to you not as parents but as people who have survived what you are going through. You might be surprised what you can learn from their wins and fails.
- Give your Parents a break. It’s hard to get over, but your parents are human beings with flaws, emotions and bad days. Sometimes they may not have all the answers and sometimes they may react poorly. They’ve given you many second (and third and fourth) chances, can you return the favor?
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