By Scott Hounsell
Over the last several years there has been a lot of excitement around the Fifty Shades of Grey book series. After hearing rave reviews in the media, I looked into the book as a potential birthday present for my wife, as she usually enjoys best sellers. Upon reading the synopsis I was instantly disgusted with the content. What is even more mind-blowing to me is the demand for a cinematic version of the books. As a father, I detest the messages contained in Fifty Shades being shared with my children as they grow up. In fact, I am infuriated for a few reasons.
First is the fact that any woman would find the action as portrayed in the movie empowering. At which point does Christian decide that Ana is an equal who is worthy of his respect? When he explains that she is only an object for his sexual gratification or when he ties her up and assaults her? The message that a movie like this could send to our children certainly does not line up with the messages of self-worth and equality I want to teach my daughter. What message does it send then? Does any parent want their child growing up thinking they are nothing more than an object to be owned and dominated? Do we want this behavior normalized to the point that our daughters think that this behavior is required of them? I can’t imagine a single parent out there that would want the behavior portrayed in Fifty Shades, replicated with their daughter. Instead they would want their daughter valued for her mind and intelligence and not on how “obedient” she is to the sexual desires of a dominating male. Adults whom see this movie are saying to young men, “not only is this behavior acceptable, it’s expected of you.”
Second is the detrimental effect it will have on young men. Imagine living in a world where you are surrounded by messages that constantly tell you that you are not strong enough, tall enough, fit enough, wealthy enough or smart enough for the society in which you live. This is the world that our young men grow up in everyday as they watch sports, listen to music, and interact on the internet. Now remember that Christian Grey is young, single, talented and wealthy. Are young men taught any valuable lessons by following the example of Grey? What about showing young men that being wealthy and good-looking allows them to do anything they want? Worse yet, should a man ever attain that level of wealth, it certainly entitles him to treat women like property, doesn’t it? Fifty Shades lacks any shred of redeeming qualities and simply teaches young men that they too, are only valued based upon their wealth and status, and not that of their character and morals. Women flocking to see this movie only suggests to young men that women would rather be objectified and punished than praised and appreciated.
We need to change where our kids are getting the bulk of their information. Educate and Empower Kids has a wealth of information and tips for parents to open these lines of communication with their children. Released last month, , details simple and effective lessons, conversation starters and other helps that stress sexual health and real intimacy in age appropriate ways. By discussing these topics openly and often, kids will consider parents the best and most trusted source for questions they may have about sex and the things they see in the media.
It disgusts me to think that our children could be learning about images openly portrayed by morning television shows like Today. But there are ways to fight against the onslaught of pornified media. Parents can take an active role in educating their children about sex, intimacy, healthy relationships and the messages the media is sending. If parents took this role, children would look to parents for answers to questions about sexual curiosities and other things they are exposed to. If parents avoid these questions and curiosities, it will drive children to seek answers elsewhere; perhaps to sources over which parents have no input. In parents being the first and best source, the likelihood that kids will receive bad information about sex is greatly reduced.
See our book for ages 3-7, 8-11 and 12+ to find ways to start conversations about topics like this; including lessons and activities to empower your child with knowledge of sexual intimacy!
Great lessons, quick and simple discussions.
