Cultivating Gratitude All Year Long

By Jenny Webb, MA

It’s easy to focus on gratitude during Thanksgiving. After all, that’s what the holiday is all about: remembering to be grateful for the good things and wonderful people in our lives. But as a mom, I’ve got to say—by the time we have the turkey on the table and the pies cooling on the counter, I’m not always in the best frame of mind, and it’s just possible that my kids don’t always appreciate sharing what they’re grateful for as we go around the table before the meal begins.

Luckily, gratitude is not an annual event! It’s something we can actively and consciously cultivate daily in our own lives, and in the lives of our families. Here are three simple ways to foster attitudes of gratitude that you can do today!

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1) Say it! Make verbal expressions of gratitude a daily occurrence. If your child clears their plate, thank them. If you see them being kind to a sad sibling, express your gratitude in concrete terms, like “Thank you for helping out with Sammy. He’s had a rough day, and I’m grateful you’re able to see that.” Speaking up seems like a small thing, but even tiny expressions of gratitude add up over time, and modeling gratitude is one of the most effective ways to show your kids not only what it is, but more importantly that it’s something you value.

STRETCH GOAL: Try to find five “thank you” moments each day for each child for a week, and see what happens!

2) Count it! Sometimes it’s easy for kids to list off the things they’re grateful for. But other times … it can be a bit more challenging. Cultivating gratitude gives us an opportunity to reframe how we see our lives, including those times when it seems like we have little to be thankful for. The next time your child faces an upsetting challenge, take a “time out” together: sit down, and ask your child the following question: “I know this is challenging, so let’s play the gratitude game: How many good things can you list off right now that you’re thankful for?” Help them reframe their attitude by teaching them to use this coping mechanism when they are feeling overwhelmed, angry, sad, or even hopeless.

STRETCH GOAL: This is one of those challenges we all can benefit from! Next time work is overwhelming, your child is in detention, and dinner is buried under a mountain of unpaid bills, take a minute and write down ten things you’re grateful for.

3) Notice it! It’s hard to be grateful for things we don’t really see. How many times do we race through breakfast, scarcely tasting the food in order to get everyone off to school and work? Or rush from activity to activity without even noticing the weather? It’s easy to say “slow down,” but how can we actually do that? One of our favorite ways involves using our noses—really! When we’re running through the grocery store, we try to take a minute to smell 3 things: often it’s yummy hot bread from the bakery, the fresh herbs over in produce, and the pungent aroma coming from the coffee aisle. It sounds cheesy, I know, but the kids and I look forward to finding our favorite smells, and taking the time to enjoy them helps us to notice the importance of small things.

STRETCH GOAL: Take a family walk around the block with the goal of noticing new things. What plants can you see or smell? Are there birds? Where? How about new people?

In the end, I think the most important thing I can teach my kids about gratitude is to center their hearts on people rather than things. It’s easy to look at our lives and count up the material things we’re grateful for, but ultimately things like clothing or homes or toys will pass out of our lives. And while of course it’s good to be grateful for them, in the long run, if I can help my children to learn to appreciate the gift of a good friendship, or a supportive relative, or an encouraging teacher, they will be happier, healthier people. Cultivating gratitude is a practice that ultimately helps us to see and notice the beauty and value of life itself, and that is something I am thankful for year round!

Our book, , includes a section on gratitude and more! It’s available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle!

is our free downloadable lesson for teaching your child gratitude! Check out all of our lessons on our .

Available in Kindle or Paperback!

Jenny Webb is an editor and publications production specialist who has worked in the industry since 2002. She graduated from Brigham Young University with an MA in comparative literature and has worked with a variety of clients ranging from international academic journals to indie science fiction authors. Born and raised in Bellevue, Washington, she currently lives in Huntsville, Alabama with her husband, Nick, and their two children.

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