30 Days of Sex Talks
Empowering Your Child with Knowledge of Sexual Intimacy For Ages 12+
Additional Resources
- The Physical Side of Affection
“Sexual Purity” from For the Strength of Youth
“Treat others with respect, not as objects used to satisfy lustful and selfish desires. Before marriage, do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing.”
“8 Ways to Start Talking to Your Child about Sex” from Educate and Empower Kids
Oftentimes, kids are more curious and willing to learn than we might think. This article offers some quick tips for how to approach the topic of sex with kids.
“Why We Need to Fight for Our Kids’ Healthy Sexuality” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article helps parents understand why teaching healthy sexuality to our children is important in a world that would have them learn of these things through porn
- Sex
“Bridle All Your Passions” from the New Era, January 2014
“Bridle All Your Passions” is a simple article that explains what a bridle is, how it works, and how it can apply to our emotions.
“Talking with Your Teen About Sex” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article offers some quick tips about how to best approach the topic of sex, and how parents and guardians can help keep the conversation from feeling daunting or overwhelming.
“Personal Purity” from the New Era, February 2000
Elder Jeffery R. Holland says, “Physical intimacy is not only a symbolic union between a husband and a wife—the very uniting of their souls—but it is also symbolic of a shared relationship between them and their Father in Heaven.”
“Your Body: A Magnificent Gift to Cherish” from the New Era, August 2019
President Russell M. Nelson reminds us and teaches us of the sacred nature of our physical bodies through this article.
- Emotional Intimacy
“Fidelity in Marriage: It’s More Than You Think” from the Ensign, September 2009
Kenneth W. Matheson discusses the role and impact emotional connections can play within relationships and how emotions, improperly monitored, can make or break a relationship.
“Unsteady Dating” from the New Era, April 2010
This article by JeaNette G. Smith touches on how emotional intimacy marks the threshold between casual dating and steady relationships.
“Intimacy Education Vs Sex Education” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article provides a perspective on how sex education goes beyond the physical aspects of the act and encourages parents and guardians to put the topic of sex within the context of relationships and religion.
- Sex Means Different Things to Boys and Girls
“Making the Right Choices” from the Ensign, November 1994
Elder Richard G. Scott answers and discusses questions he frequently encounters when counseling young men in regard to the law of chastity.
“15 Things I Want My Son to Know About Love and Sex” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article offers a mother’s perspective on what critical information she wants her own son to know about love and sex.
“15 Things I Want My Daughter to Know about Love and Sex” from Educate and Empower Kids
A mother’s perspective on the best information her daughter should know about love and sex.
“Differences Inherent Between Men and Women” from Eternal Marriage Student Manual
“There is a distinct masculine nature and a distinct feminine nature essential to the foundation of the home and the family.”
- Positive Aspects of Sex
“Of Souls Symbols and Sacraments” from Brigham Young University Speeches, 1987–88
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland says, “Human life—that is the greatest of God’s powers, the most mysterious and magnificent chemistry of it all—and you and I have been given it, but under the most serious and sacred of restrictions.”
“The World’s Way vs. the Lord’s Way” from the Ensign, August 2020
Isabel Toa discusses how today’s culture of social media, television, and the internet can dramatically influence our perceptions of sexual relations.
“Did I Wait Too Long? Starting the Sex Talk with An Older Teen” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article offers tips for getting the conversation started with their older kids and how to keep that conversation going.
- Physical Responses to Sex
“Sane Sex Knowledge Is Still Important Today” from the Deseret News, March 1984
Brief and to the point, Dr. Brent Barlow shares how he found that “the best new thoughts are often the best old thoughts.”
“Dating” from For the Strength of Youth
“A date is a planned activity that allows a young man and a young woman to get to know each other better. In cultures where dating is acceptable, it can help you learn and practice social skills, develop friendships, have wholesome fun, and eventually find an eternal companion.”
“Chastity” from Gospel Topics
“Chastity is sexual purity. Those who are chaste are morally clean in their thoughts, words, and actions. Chastity means not having any sexual relations before marriage. It also means complete fidelity to husband or wife during marriage.”
- Orgasm
“Common Mistakes Parents Make When Talking To Kids About Sex” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article points out four common mistakes that parents make when it comes to opening the door for healthy conversations about sex and body image.
“Sex Education and Behavior” from Gospel Topics
“Sexual feelings are normal and expected as children mature through puberty and into adulthood, but all should follow the Lord’s teachings in dealing with those feelings.”
“‘Bridle All Your Passions’” from the Ensign, February 1994
Bruce C. and Marie K. Hafen teach how practicing restraint in regard to our physical desires is less about simply not committing sin and more about cultivating a fulfilling and lasting love with our spouse.
- Relationship Boundaries
“Lesson: Teaching Your Kids Healthy Boundaries” from Educate and Empower Kids
This family night lesson offers a guided approach to teaching your kids about building and maintaining healthy boundaries.
“Dating: Give Me a Brake” from the New Era, June 1993
JeaNette Goates Smith briefly discusses how setting boundaries early on can prevent future mishaps and distress within romantic relationships.
“How to Say No and Keep Your Friends” from the New Era, February 1998
Chris Crowe says, “Decide in advance what you believe in, and when the time comes, stand up for your beliefs.”
“How to Set Boundaries for Well-Being” from Inspiration, September 2020
Kevin Keovongsa writes, “Learning to set boundaries takes time. . . . Start by establishing some guidelines that help you take care of yourself.”
- The First Time
“Let us instruct young people who come to us, first, young men throughout the Church, to know that a woman should be queen of her own body. The marriage covenant does not give the man the right to enslave her, or to abuse her, or to use her merely for the gratification of his passion. Your marriage ceremony does not give you that right.” —President David O. McKay
"Conversations about Intimacy and Sex that Can Prepare You for Marriage" from the Ensign, August 2020
Author Chelom E. Leavitt offers several suggestions for having helpful, productive conversations about sexual intimacy with your fiancé or spouse.
"Ask a Latter-day Saint Therapist: What Is and Isn't Appropriate in Married Sexuality?" from LDS Living, November 2019
Therapist Jonathan Decker discusses how to determine what is appropriate sexual behavior in a married relationship.
- Consent
“Agency, Accountability, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ: Application to Sexual Assault” from Brigham Young University Speeches, January 2018
Benjamin M. Ogles says, “When we understand that physical intimacy is a profound expression of love, trust, and creative powers within covenant marriage, then the issue of consent becomes even more vital. Marriage itself is not consent to intimacy. Spouses have the same obligation to respect one another’s agency.”
“Lesson: Talking to Your Kids About Consent” from Educate and Empower Kids
“It is absolutely imperative that your teen knows what it means to give consent. They need to know that if any attention is unwanted, it needs to stop.”
“Consent: Not Actually That Complicated (Clean Edition!)” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article breaks down just how simple consent really is by using the analogy of making someone a cup of tea.
- Creating a Healthy Relationship
“How to Create Healthy Relationships” from Educate and Empower Kids
“Teaching children how to build healthy relationships will enable them to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy and build healthy relationships.”
“Building Meaningful Relationships” from the Ensign, August 2018
This article describes and discusses a number of ways that readers can build and improve sincere relationships.
“How Do I Love Thee?” from the New Era, October 2003
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland gives the counsel, “Be a true disciple of Jesus. Be a genuine, committed, word-and-deed Latter-day Saint. Believe that your faith has everything to do with your romance, because it does.”
“Can I Build Safe, Healthy Relationships?” from Life Help
“You can build healthy and safe relationships, even though you may not feel it is possible because of the abuse you have suffered. With time and effort, you can experience fulfillment and joy in your interactions with others.”
“Agency and Love in Marriage” from the Ensign, October 2000
Elder Lynn G. Robbins explains how any relationship can have lasting love when the perspective changes from love as something passive that simply happens, to love as something that we actively create and maintain.
- Abusive Relationships
“Healing the Tragic Scars of Abuse” from general conference, April 1992
Elder Richard G. Scott comforts the abused, saying, “I solemnly testify that when another’s acts of violence . . . hurt you terribly, against your will, you are not responsible and you must not feel guilty.”
“Dispelling the Darkness of Abuse” from the Ensign, February 2000
One woman describes the emotional and spiritual impacts of sexual abuse she experienced as a child, and how she felt healed with the help of Christ’s teachings.
“Real Life Lessons Learned from Beauty and the Beast” from Educate and Empower Kids
A great article that discusses counterfeit messages about relationships our kids receive and how to combat their ill effects.
“Personal Worthiness to Exercise the Priesthood” from general conference, April 2002
President Gordon B. Hinckley says, “Any man in this Church who abuses his wife, who demeans her . . . is unworthy to hold the priesthood.”
For more information regarding abuse, please visit the Church’s web page: “Abuse: Help, Healing, and Protection.”
- Self-Worth and Sex
“Men and Women in the Work of the Lord” from the New Era, April 2014
This article discusses the roles of men and women in God’s plan. It explains how gender is a gift and how men and women compliment each other equally in their differences.
“Learning to Love Myself” from the Ensign, March 1982
Louise Brown describes her own experience with low self-esteem in order to highlight for readers how they too can set themselves on the road to self-improvement.
“8 Things Your Daughter Needs to Hear From YOU” from Educate and Empower Kids
Written for mothers to their daughters, this article lists the top eight things that every daughter needs to hear.
- You are a Child of Heavenly Parents
“I am a beloved daughter of Heavenly Parents, with a divine nature and eternal destiny.”
“I am a beloved son of God, and He has a work for me to do.”
“Truth, Lies, and Your Self-Worth” from the New Era, January 2014
Mindy Raye Friedman says, “It’s about being who you are—a unique child of God—and knowing that who you are is a good thing.”
“Lesson: Learning Positive Self-Talk” from Educate and Empower Kids
In this family night lesson, parents have the opportunity to teach and practice using positive self-talk with their children.
“Repentance Is Always Positive” from general conference, October 2017
Stephen W. Owen teaches, “Often we think of repentance as something miserable and depressing… Repentance is uplifting and ennobling. It’s sin that brings unhappiness.”
“Confidence and Self-Worth” from the Ensign, January 2005
Elder Glenn L. Pace says, “Too often we wallow in our weaknesses so much that we do not allow ‘weak things’ to ‘become strong.’ Our condition is frequently misdiagnosed as humility, when in reality it is a lack of confidence.”
- Body Image and Sex
“We Are Children of God” from general conference, October 1998
President Russell M. Nelson talks about how our bodies are gifts from God and how our individual value comes from our eternal heritage.
YA Weekly, August 2019
Week 1 and week 2 of this particular issue focuses almost entirely on developing a healthy body image with young men and young women in mind.
“Teaching Our Kids Body Gratitude: A Critical Skill in Our Image-Saturated World” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article offers detailed suggestions for how they can help teach their children about body positivity and how they can help boost their children up.
“Inspiring Positive Body Image in Kids” from It’s All About Progress podcast
This episode discusses how parents can encourage positive body image at home.
- Being Media Savvy
“Media Literacy II: Teaching Kids How to Deconstruct Images” from Educate and Empower Kids
In this family night lesson, teach your kids to deconstruct media messages, so they can avoid the pitfalls of low self-worth when comparing themselves to false advertising and social media messages.
from Educate and Empower Kids
This free ebook was created to assist you and your family in deciding what media is “good,” “better,” or “best” as you strive to live gospel standards.
“Creating a Media Guideline for Your Family” from Educate and Empower Kids
“A media guideline is a great tool for protecting your family from online dangers and excessive usage of devices.”
“Surviving the Social Media Highlight Reel” from the New Era, January 2017
Megan Gladwell writes, “Most people aren’t inclined to share pictures of embarrassing situations, grief, or even a bad-hair day. Everyone experiences life’s ups and downs, and it’s important to remember that social media users typically share the ups.”
“Things As They Really Are” from the Ensign, June 2010
Elder David A. Bednar says, “For your happiness and protection, I invite you to study more diligently the doctrine of the plan of salvation—and to prayerfully ponder the truths we have reviewed.”
- Pornography
“Winning the Battle Against Pornography Through a Faith-Focused Home” from Empower Latter-day Saint Kids
“Pornography can destroy families and harm kids’ understanding of healthy sexuality. Our Families must build immunity to this incredibly negative force!”
“Five Things Worth Knowing about Pornography” from the New Era, October 2019
David A. Edwards says, “Whether you’re struggling with pornography yourself or are aware of a friend or loved one who is struggling, remember the Savior’s grace and mercy. There is always reason for hope.”
“The Secret Enemy” from the New Era, February 2011
Loran Cook writes, “Because of the Internet, it seems that encountering pornography is increasingly not a matter of if but when.”
“Addressing Pornography” from ChurchofJesusChrist.org
The Church provides numerous resources for parents, spouses, etc. for those dealing with pornography in their lives.
- Masturbation
“The Lord’s Standard of Morality” from the Ensign, March 2014
Elder Tad R. Callister says, “Our choice to obey or disobey God’s standard of morality will largely determine our happiness in life.”
“Talking with Our Kids about Masturbation—Without Shame!” from Educate and Empower Kids
“Masturbation should not play a major role in your child’s life, either as a source of relentless guilt or as a frequent and persistent habit that displaces healthy sexual relations in the future.”
“Talking with Our Daughters about Masturbation” from Educate and Empower Kids
Masturbation is an important topic that needs to be addressed with both boys and girls. This article goes into how to do so, specifically with your daughters.
“How, When, and Why: Talking to Your Children about Sexuality” from the Ensign, August 2020
This article gives guidance and handy activities for parents to help open the door for discussing the law of chastity and sexuality with their children.
“Teaching Adolescents: from Twelve to Eighteen Years” from A Parent’s Guide
“Masturbation, a rather common indiscretion, is not approved of the Lord nor of His Church regardless of what may have been said by others whose ‘norms’ are lower. Latter-day Saints are urged to avoid this practice.”
- Shame and Guilt
“Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more. By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.” —Doctrine and Covenants 58:42–43
“Three Mistakes I’ve Made Using Shame and Guilt” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article describes some of the ways we may inadvertently teach our children to associate shame and guilt with body image and behavior.
“Shame versus Guilt: Help for Discerning God’s Voice from Satan’s Lies” from the Ensign, January 2020
This article does a great job at helping define the difference between shame and guilt, and it helps readers to understand how these two feelings work in relation to repentance.
“How I Learned to Understand God’s View of Sexuality” from the Ensign, August 2020
A young woman, Emma, bravely shares how guilt and shame kept her from seeking guidance and answers regarding her own sexual desires and behaviors.
“Worthiness Is Not Flawlessness” from the Ensign, November 2021
Bradly Wilcox reminds us, “When you feel like you have failed too many times to keep trying, remember Christ’s Atonement and the grace it makes possible are real.”
- Sexting and Social Media
“Social Media and Teens: The Ultimate Guide to Keeping Kids Safe Online” from Educate and Empower Kids
This lesson walks you through how to set guidelines with your kids on social media in order to keep them safe from online dangers.
“Lesson: Talking to Your Kids About Sexting” from Educate and Empower Kids
“Chances are, your child will encounter this, either by unwittingly receiving a sext or feeling pressured to send one or actually sending one. This is why it’s so important to talk to our kids about this growing and dangerous trend.”
“Lesson: Uplifting Others Online and Everywhere” from Educate and Empower Kids
This family night lesson helps kids to understand the importance of being kind both online and in person.
“Lesson: Teaching Our Kids Social Media Etiquette” from Educate and Empower Kids
“Teach your child the necessary manners associated with social media. Emphasize to them that as they practice and implement proper behaviors in their online lives, they will better understand the importance of using social media as a tool for good.”
“Some Things We Don’t Share” from the New Era, August 2019
“Once you’ve sent someone these kinds of pictures, you don’t control them anymore. You never know who else might somehow get their hands on them and do something with them that could threaten or harm you.”
- Sexual Conversations
“Language” from For the Strength of Youth
“How you communicate should reflect who you are as a son or daughter of God. Clean and intelligent language is evidence of a bright and wholesome mind. Good language that uplifts, encourages, and compliments others invites the Spirit to be with you.”
“Lesson: Think Before You Speak, Post or Hit Send” from Educate and Empower Kids
“The words we choose to speak or post online have the power to build others up or tear them down. . . . When we speak before thinking or post something inappropriate online, it can have lasting consequences.”
“Lesson: Teaching Our Kids to Be Positive in Their Communication Online and In-Person” from Educate and Empower Kids
This family night lesson is intended to help kids learn to develop greater communication skills both in person and online.
“Clean Thoughts, Pure Lives” from the Ensign, September 1984
Bishop H. Burke Peterson says, “Purity of thought is one of the secrets to a happy and productive life and to the eternal rewards of a loving Father in Heaven.”
- Sexual Identification
“Same-Sex Attraction” from Life Help
This web page from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints contains numerous resources regarding same-sex attraction.
“How Can I Include or Reach Out to Those Who Experience Same-Sex Attraction in My Ward or Stake?”
Elder Quentin L. Cook says, “As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. . . . Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion, and outreach. . . . Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender.”
“Starting Conversations with Your Kids about LGBTQ Identities” from Educate and Empower Kids
“It is important to teach through behavior and conversation that treating others with respect is critical to our communities. This will lead to more tolerance and safety for all people no matter their identity.”
“Gender Is an Essential Characteristic of Eternal Identity and Purpose” from the Ensign, October 2008
This article contains a small collection of quotes that remind readers of the importance and blessings of gender.
“Understanding Yourself” from Life Help
This page contains many helpful resources regarding transgender identity questions.
- Unwanted Sexual Attention
“Healing the Spiritual Wounds of Sexual Abuse” from the Ensign, April 2001
Ann F. Pritt touches on the impacts that sexual abuse can have on an individual spiritually and how an individual can begin to heal from such abuse.
“What Online Predators Don’t Want YOU to Do” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article discusses just how likely it is for children to encounter a predator, how it can happen, and what parents can do to protect their children.
“How to Identify A Child Predator Online” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article defines the various acronyms and terms used online that identify and describe sexual identifications, including those used by pedophiles.
“Recognizing Types of Abuse and Abusive Behavior”
This web page from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints explains how to identify different kinds of abuse that can occur in a person’s life.
- How Predators Groom Kids
“What if I Think the Abuse Is My Fault?” from Life Help
“If you are a victim of abuse, you are not responsible for what happened. It does not matter where you were, what you said or did, what you were wearing…”
“Hidden Agony” from the New Era, March 1992
Lisa A. Johnson writes, “Hidden behind a public smile may be fear and guilt. . . . Whether it’s you or someone you know, hope and peace and healing are available.”
“The Secret I Almost Did Not Tell” from Educate and Empower Kids
The author tells of her personal experience with abuse and how she learned to teach her own children what to look for and what to avoid to protect themselves in the future.
“Child Predators: What Every Parent Should Know” from Educate and Empower Kids
Instructional video to help parents identify and protect children from predators.
- Monogamy vs. Multiple Partners
“Chastity” from Gospel Topics
“Our Heavenly Father has given us the law of chastity for our protection. Obedience to this law is essential to personal peace and strength of character and to happiness in the home. Those who keep themselves sexually pure will avoid the spiritual and emotional damage.”
“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”
“We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”
“The Moral Force of Women” from general conference, October 2013
Elder D. Todd Christofferson says, “Women bring with them into the world a certain virtue, a divine gift that makes them adept at instilling such qualities as faith, courage, empathy, and refinement in relationships and in cultures.”
“Text-dominant Relationships: A Social Norm that Is Killing Meaningful Teen Relationships” from Educate and Empower Kids
“A deeper sense of empathy and emotional connection can only be nurtured face to face and are needed to build strong and loving relationships.”
- Sex in a Committed Relationship vs. Hookup Sex
“Talking with Your Children about Moral Purity” from the Ensign, December 1986
President Spencer W. Kimball said, “The law of chastity requires total abstinence before marriage and full fidelity afterward. It is the same for men and women. It is the cornerstone of trust so necessary to the precious happiness of the marriage relationship and family solidarity.”
“‘Are You Having Sex?’” from Educate and Empower Kids
Listed in this article are a few less awkward ways to approach the topic of sexual activity with your teens.
“I Was A Teenage Slut” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article tells a cautionary tale of poor self-esteem and social pressure, and what to do to avoid situations like this.
“Dating” from For the Strength of Youth
These are the listed guidelines for the Church to help youth stay safe and have positive dating experiences.
- The Double Standard and Derogatory Terms
“The Role of the Deacon” from the New Era, May 1974
Bishop Vaughn J. Featherstone says, “We do not have a double standard in the Church. A deacon should refrain from telling dirty stories, reading pornographic material, using profane language, or being abusive or rude.”
“Sex Talks for Daughters” from Media Savvy Moms, March 2020
This is a podcast featuring Educate and Empower Kids discussing what important sexual topics you should talk about with your daughters.
“Translating Slang for Parents” from Educate and Empower Kids
This article contains a list of commonly used internet slang to help parents understand what certain phrases or acronyms mean.
- Sex Under the Influence
“A Hole in Her Soul” from the Ensign, July 2006
This article describes the impact a harmful sexual encounter had on a young woman and the long road of recovery that she then faced.
“Talking With My Children About Rape” from Educate and Empower Kids
It’s important not only to talk to your kids about rape, but to talk to them early enough that the information can come from someone who loves them.
“Not Even Once” from the New Era, August 2007
Shanna Butler writes, “Habit-forming drugs not only affect your body, but as you surrender your body and will to them, they will also destroy the other command center of your body—your spirit.”
- STDs and STIs
“Nursing Our Fellowmen” from the Ensign, August 1995
Nurse Todd F. Cope explains his feelings when encountering patients with STIs, writing, “My first reaction was to judge and silently condemn these patients for their actions. But it didn’t take me long to realize that they are children of Heavenly Father who deserve the same competent care I give to my other patients.”
“Staying Morally Clean” from Preparing for an Eternal Marriage Teacher Manual
“When we obey the law of chastity, the Lord helps us grow in faith, self-confidence, peace of mind, and happiness in this life and in the world to come.”
“Reverence and Mortality” from the Ensign, May 1987
President Gordon B. Hinckley says of AIDS, “We, with others, hope that discoveries will make possible both prevention and healing from this dread affliction. But regardless of such discoveries, the observance of one clearly understandable and divinely given rule would do more than all else to check this epidemic. That is chastity before marriage and total fidelity after marriage. . . . Mankind has been given agency to choose between right and wrong.”
- Birth Control
“Birth Control” from Gospel Topics
“Husband and wife are encouraged to pray and counsel together as they plan their families. . . . Decisions about birth control and the consequences of those decisions rest solely with each married couple.”
“For Parents: How to Have A Family Council” from Educate and Empower Kids
“A family council is when all members of a family gather together to problem solve. . . . It is a time where all members can freely share thoughts and …work together”
“Abortion: An Assault on the Defenseless” from the Ensign, October 2008
President Russell M. Nelson says, “Life comes from life. It is no accident. It is a gift from God. Innocent life is not sent by Him to be destroyed. It is given by Him and is naturally to be taken by Him alone. I testify that life is eternal as He is eternal.”
“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”
“The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. . . . We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”
